I Am Working On Myself

It may not look like I am on the outside, (Which I would like to improve on as well.) but I am having a hard time working on the me that is inside. My biggest offender is my self-confidence. I have a minuscule amount of it and it makes me wonder why. I do love myself, but I always find something that I don't like about myself and it gets the better of me instead of thinking positively. My boyfriend says he loves every inch of me no matter what, but I can't help but think at the same time, "What if I did lose weight? What if I was sexier? Would he like me better?" I know I can't base my self-love on someone else's opinion, but I can't find the definitive answers I need. I have to really push myself and get to where I want to be, but I need someone to give me the first push or to stand by my side and motivate me. If only losing weight, getting more tattoos and looking like the me I want to look like could happen overnight... But dreams are dreams and in reality, I have to work for what I want...

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GwydionFrost · 56-60, M

You have stated clearly that your one biggest issue is your self confidence. You then go on to nitpick your physical status, which is genetics, and honestly, the hand you've been dealt in life and unchangeable (you can modify, but you are still the basic you).

Can I give you a little bit of information that might change this problem...? Changing your physical self doesn't give you self confidence. The self confidence people get from changing themselves physically comes from the ACCOMPLISHMENT of self discipline, setting and reaching goals, and successfully doing something.

If you want to increase your self confidence, may I suggest focusing upon challenging yourself... not physically (although you can, if that's your thing), but by becoming involved in things you are passionate about. I am involved in a lot of civic activities (also an officer in a Masonic Lodge). By volunteering my time and making positive change for the better in my community, I FEEL FREAKING FANTASTIC all the time.

To put it in another way, seek not the meaning of life, rather, seek a life of meaning. Give yourself purpose, and the confidence will naturally follow.

belly4babygirl · 26-30, F

This was a great read, thank you for this.
Like you stated about volunteering and such, I am slowly making my way there.
I applied to a volunteer program recently and I am waiting on a response. Just the decision to do something like this makes me feel better about myself. So maybe you're right! But personally, that little voice in the back of my head still has things to say. It's a slow process, but I will definitely take your statement on as a way to improve my life. With meaning!

GwydionFrost · 56-60, M

@belly4babygirl: Trust me, once you start focusing your time on DOING these things, that voice gets harder and harder to hear. ;)