I'm working on being more emotionally vulnerable

And thinking of what that looks like in a healthy way.

I get really scared of disappointment and have a fear of abandonment. It's not even the reality of it, the anticipation of it hurts. I often abandon myself first by keeping distance to save myself from the possibility of it. It's maladaptive but that's the truth.

It makes having feelings for people scary, i feel like if I let them in they'll run away. I need to let my walls down for someone to get a chance, but it makes me sensitive to them and brings up some really hard emotions for me.

It's like it's so heavy that I can't tell someone that straight up.

Wanted to vent

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Saucylover · 26-30, F

If people run away when you are being yourself, especially in a vulnerable state, then they don’t deserve you. Being your true self is the only way to truly know while loves and cares for you! It’s the only way to weed out those who don’t. If they turn tale and run when you are yourself, then they’ve done you a favor. The favor may hurt and taste sour at first, but it’s sweet in the long run. Trust me, I’ve been there. And it feels so good to truly be seen and loved just as you are.

My husband cries in front of me whenever he needs to, and I would never shame him for it or think of him as less than. He is my hero and my soul mate. My true love. I want him to share every part of himself with me, and he lets me do the same. Would you judge someone who was being open and vulnerable with you? In their most sensitive moment? No, and I can tell you wouldn’t because you realize what that feels like!

So if somebody does something that you own character wouldn’t allow you to do, remove them from your life. I too hear helps, and I hope you are someday able to open up so that you know what it’s like to be loved and adored just as you are!