Just turned 60 today, wondering why me?

I Just turned 60 today and I'm wondering why me? When almost all of the people I've known and loved are gone. Why am I still here? Am I special or just lucky. While serving I should have been dead a hundred times over, I just don't understand am I being punished?

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Paully · 56-60, M

Tonight is the 4th of July, I can smell and taste the gun powder in the air, the only things missing are my buddies and the smell and taste of the blood in the air. The sounds of a fire fight are all around me they bring the memories of screams of pain and terror almost forgotten, almost buried. I din not get the chance to go to my customary quiet place this year. loud music with my head phones helps but does not block it all