the deathiversary. this gloomy weather.

my painless period that makes me lowkey suıcıdal some months. this unbearable loneliness crushing my chest and making me physically nauseous.

which, to be suuuuuper duper clear, i have zero desire to harm myself whatsoever. but like. oh i wish these animals didn't depend on me. i wish i would fall asleep quietly and not wake up. moreso i wish i had never been

i imagine myself leaving the house, exploring, going on little adventures and practicing new hobbies. but then i visualize myself doing it and i'm just so annoying to look at i feel stupid for having even considered it