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It gets very lonely. How to cope?

It’s been 4 months since I migrated to a new country and all think about is home. Alone, no friends, no sense of community.
Bleak · 36-40, F
It takes time. My sis migrated from her hometown to US. And she is badly missing her hometown.

Human nature is flexible. Our migration starts from the day we come to this world.
TessDun · 36-40, F
@Bleak Yes, I feel the same. Just want to go back so badly but already here so just trying to get an ROI and save enough
Itll take time. Just put yourself out there youll find friends
TessDun · 36-40, F
@Shybutwilling2bfriends Yes I hope too 🙏
IamBack · 31-35, M
Same here, 3 months ago, it’s hard but you will come along, you need at least 6 months to settle in

Talking to friends and family back home helps, try to be more involved in your community, sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zone

Try joining a gym or a book club or something, it helps, going to sit at a coffee house for a few hours helps too
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TessDun · 36-40, F
@IamBack I thought the same way with my fellows sometimes. Could be the challenges they encounter while living here that changed their attitudes. But yes, I’ve never met a not nice local so far.
IamBack · 31-35, M
@TessDun well if you ever felt like talking about anything I’d be more than happy to listen
SW-User
Visit public places more often
Try to find friends at work
Find people of your community in the country
TessDun · 36-40, F
@SW-User I work from home, we only do virtual video communication. The office is nearby but the setup is work from home. All colleagues talk about is work.
SW-User
@TessDun work from home is even depressing, you are trapped at home all day long
Hang out at public places more often
Dinner outside
Clubs, pubs etc
Sports centres
Public pools
TessDun · 36-40, F
@SW-User I agree. I thought I would be okay working from home as an introvert, but now as a foreigner who has no family, nobody with me, I feel very isolated. I never thought about the importance of work buddies, which I had in my previous jobs. They helped me in so many ways I did not realise before when work became so stressful. Those lunch breaks shared and some silly nonsense talks, they made work in a way enjoyable, none of these I have right now. My challenge is how to survive for long time in this kind of setup. But I have bills to pay and do not have any other choice at the moment.
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
Do you speak the language ?
If not, there's a barrier you could overcome with a little study.

I wonder if an online search might help identify sites; popular places for expats nearby ?
That at least might give you some forums to communicate with.
TessDun · 36-40, F
@Picklebobble2 Will try this too. I have joined forums before but not to the point of meeting in person. There are forums for newly arrived migrants. Language here is english so not so much of an adjustment , though the accent can be challenging and though I can communicate in english, getting my thoughts across and be understood clearly is not easy due to my lack of exposure. Interviews helped but would love to be able to speak more naturally.
come2gether · 46-50, M
I go to the tavern. I haven't migrated to a different country, but I move about the US a lot, and going to different states can be like going to a new country.

Don't know anyone, don't know the area. No friends. So, the pub it is.
TessDun · 36-40, F
@come2gether Good tip. Most locals come in groups in most pubs. I just know cause I passed by some and I would feel weird going there alone. Also, it. could be culture or I am just not used to drinking in pubs, though I drink on certain occasions.
Greenpeas · 46-50, M
So where do you call home now and where is your family home?
TessDun · 36-40, F
@Greenpeas Philippines
Greenpeas · 46-50, M
@TessDun nice always thought about visiting
TessDun · 36-40, F
@Greenpeas You should, just avoid the major crowded cities and the dangerous areas.
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TessDun · 36-40, F
@jshm2 I did seriously consider this before, 6 years ago. I was young and more flexible when it comes to whatever comes along. Now at 40 it’s different. The migration process was long and it came to a point where I just forgot about it. But my papers were still in file. And after covid, they started inviting people. So i kind of pushed through my application since I’ve already started and had spent huge amounts during the processing even though my perspective had changed due to pandemic and age. Also, the benefits in a new country when it comes to health care is superior compared to where I come from, as they say, better qualify of life. This I still have to fully soak in. Cost of living here is very high, if I don’t work, I’d be homeless. Whereas in my home country, I have a little place fully paid. And I can just work freelance to get by.
djjohnson · 41-45, M
It takes effort to go out and to get to know your neighbors. It’s a lost skill in this day and age because it’s easier to just go online.
TessDun · 36-40, F
@djjohnson It’s true, people specifically in cities don’t know who they live be next Mostly are just cold and only mind their inner circles. I also don’t want to be invasive or feel like an intruder so I mind my own too.
Get involved in the community
Volunteer....
@TessDun it's ok ..maybe you didn't see a need at the time .
But now you do ...helping others will help you in the long run
TessDun · 36-40, F
@pripyatamusementpark Thank you. I need to start find a good cause. Any tips would be appreciated.
@TessDun Find something you feel passionate about
scorpiolovedeep · 51-55, M
You will find groups on FB , people of your language / region etc.

Or send a message in your local suburb group to make new friends.
It's good that you came to sw, try to talk to people on sw, chat
hunkalove · 61-69, M
@darkknightt About the only thing SW is good for is to remind you there are some things better than prison.
TessDun · 36-40, F
@darkknightt Yah I just come back, been here for years almost a decade, hopefully the quality of messages that I get would improve aside from constant butt fetishes boxers shorts breastfeeding ones.
Idk i'm from a big family i have almost never been lonely.. hope you find good friends soon 🙂
TessDun · 36-40, F
@SStarfish 🙏 I hope so, thank you.
Maybe try to join some groups to socialize?
TessDun · 36-40, F
@BloviatingBuffoon Yes probably will
thisguy20 · 41-45, M
Try going to a bar for / at happy hour
TessDun · 36-40, F
@thisguy20 Not sure as after work I’d already be very exhausted and if I drink in pubs I might fall asleep there.
thisguy20 · 41-45, M
@TessDun Most bars do offer coffee. And there are other NA options
hunkalove · 61-69, M
TessDun · 36-40, F
@hunkalove Australia
hunkalove · 61-69, M
@TessDun I was close!

 
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