I am feeling so sad and lonely

The chaos of the holidays was an exhausting, but pleasant distraction and now that things are coming down from all that excitement, the bad feelings are setting in again.

There has been a lot of loss this year, not only in deaths but in deteriorating health, bad news and even just friendships.

There are things that happen that are just out of my control and while I’m not happy about those things, I can accept that there is only so much that I can do but when It comes to things that I actively try to fix and still fail, that’s a harder pill to swallow.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’ve reached a point where I’ve just given up, even when I don’t mean to. I feel a certain way and I want things to be better, but I feel like even when I want those things, I act in a way that pushes people even further when all I want is to pull them closer.

I’m just so tired of feeling so sad