so lonely, there was a time when I tried to socialize with people around me a lot, it wasn't a problem, I'll try to participate in gossips but then my

level of insecurity; I felt like I'm becoming more insecure, always trying to change myself for better but there's no end, I'll hear something girls saying and I'll think as if everything is directed towards me, even now I'm so messed up , no other side , I say I admit it's all just my mistake, I'm a faulty human, I don't see others much still I find myself worse anytime, can't express in words in short but I'm really weird, then I've a lot of responsibilities and I feel I've done enough but it's never enough, in these three years online here n there I've seen more people than the number of real people I've met in m place also it's anytime it's diverse, I feel sad when suddenly they stop talking after two Three days, I doubt who's genuine, who's sincere, am I ? , may be I don't deserve, may be I'm not naive anymore or I've yet to meet people who are far more wiser, anyway it's better, I see but why really my hrt inside can't accept, they Friends act feel so close thn in a moment they disappear, they don't answer, well just let it go , no need to connect, just liv wll