I Have Been Extremely Lonely For Far Too Long

I share your appreciation for nature's finest species. (We spinsters have a natural affinity for cats). Volunteering to work with them might do it for you.

I have one more suggestion that may help you. But I know you probably won't like it much. When you meet a woman you are attracted to, let her know it right away, very early in the relationship. That does not mean you have to act obnoxious or aggressive or disrespectful. But you have to hint to her that you find her attractive and interesting. Try putting just a hint of flirtation into your interactions with her if you are interested. If she responds badly to it, stop the flirting but do not pretend you have lost all interest in her, only show you are being sensitive and respectful of her reaction, though open to her changing her mind. Do not hide your own interest for fear of rejection. That often places you firmly in the friend zone, and if you find her attractive, that is not a comfortable place to be. And remember, even if she rejects you, she could change her mind later on if you are able to accept it without being cowed by her initial reaction or angry about it.

I don't know you so I don't know if this will be of any help. But a lot of men miss a lot of chances with women because they're afraid to let the woman know how they feel.

@greenmountaingal trust me my friend that wisdom means alot you are giving me. It is hard to read a woman. Youre giving me a lot of knowledge that I would have never know.

People told me I should hid or lie about my RA(rheumatoid arthritis) Not sure how I should bring that up. I know that some people know about it but Im afarid to bring it up.

I'm going to be 40 in July 5th. Have a Babyface so I look younger than my age. I've had females check me out but I'm afaird that I'm older than them

With the summer coming up, Im going to take your advice and go with it. Thanks you again

@McShay1978 Don't worry about "bringing it up." You sound as if it is some kind of deep dark secret and a confession of something bad or embarrassing. If you think of it that way...[i]she will, too.[/i] It is a plain and simple medical condition! This is no disgrace; it's just part of being human. Everyone's got something like that; with some it's allergies, with others it's chronic sinus trouble, or herpes type 1 or 2, or having to use a CPAP machine at night, or a back brace. Most people have something--and, take it from an old lady, if they don't, they[i]will.[/i]
So don't keep it a secret. If you keep it a secret, it conveys the idea to both of you that something is shameful or terrible.

It's funny, but people tend to accept us on our own self-evaluation. If you stop seeing it as an impediment, and stop hiding it, you will not have to wonder about "when to bring it up." Just refer to it naturally in conversation if and when it comes up naturally.

Example:

Her: "So, do you like to dance?"
You: "Yeah, sometimes, but I have arthritis so it's not as much fun as it could be."

By the way, I am a woman who has had a major relationship and romance with a guy I am still very good friends with who has severe RA. The reasons why we never married have to do with some unusual trouble in both of our families, not his arthritis. No one ever turned down love or marriage over arthritis. Believe me, you would not really like anyone that superficial.

Another romance I had briefly in my 20s was with a grotesquely deformed man (his mother took thalidomide when she was pregnant). He was very short, crippled, wore leg braces, walked on special metal crutches and had a twisted weird deformed face. I had 3 great months with this very charming and sexy man, and I learned a lot from him. There were several reasons we broke up. One of the main ones: He was a womanizer and had too many other girlfriends. That is a true story. (He was a terrific dancer, too; he'd wave his crutches around when he danced).

Forget the RA. You have nothing to hide. Don't make it important and it won't be.

@Starstuff I'll be honest it's a male thing. Try not to show a weakness but we all have a flaws. Like you I'm caring and loving but I need to just be myself.

@McShay1978 exactly when you are yourself and you feel the fear the doubt creep up it’s at that moment Talk to you as if you were standing in front of you.
Breath through it. Just say I love you just the way you are.

@Starstuff would do anything to have that woman touch. I know that not all ladies will care bout my condition. As long as I'm loving caring and sweet. Would do what I can and thanks again for the sweet words

@McShay1978 If you figure it out, let me know.

@PhoenixPhail I'll try my friend. Suck not having that woman touch

@McShay1978 How well I know.