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I Am Lonely

I never believed in destiny, fate and other crap like that. But I just don't know anymore... Maybe I AM meant to be alone. I mean, I know people - most are assholes, and some genuine monsters, and they all managed to form relationships. Even the worst of the worst have found love. And then there's me. Just an idiot. I'm always giving my best to make people feel better, but who am I really? I'm nobody. When people open up to me and speak of their doubts, their fears and demons, I will deny everything about them that I disagree with. I will speak up when they call themselves stupid or ugly or whatever. No one denies my demons. I guess everyone agrees with them.
I'm just tired. Tired of this empty life. You know, when I was younger, everyone was like "it'll come to you when you get a bit older" or "you just haven't met the right one", etc. Well, I'm almost thirty, and I still don't know jack shit. Oh, and I have met the right one. THE Right One. But there's a catch. Just because she is the right one for me doesn't mean I am the same for her. That's someone else, I guess.
I promised I wouldn't do anything stupid, so I won't. But I can never seem to get a break. Like everything in this world and their grandmother are against me. I just don't know what to do. I don't understand what is wrong with me or how can i fix myself.
I'm sorry. I'll probably delete this later.
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ArnoldJRimmer
no need to delete what you feel. i dont think anyone knows what they are supposed to do in life.