I have been separated since January 2016 , divorced as of Aug 2016. I understand exactly how you feel. I have to tell you those questions you are asking yourself are the same as to how all men are after their divorces. You question yourself and you spin around inside of your head. What if I did this? What if I did that? You go through periods where you just want to go back to how it all was. Everything you are going through is normal. You are not alone. Men tend to retreat inside of themselves. I know I still do at times. I would recommend you google "DivorceCare" and find a local group near you. You will find others in your same similiar situation and it will give you support. I took the DivorceCare class twice to help me. After I did that I took the single and Parenting class to help me come to grips with my new role in the divorced family fatherhood role.
Remember that you may be the most caring person in the world and give someone the shirt off your back but that does not mean that others will treat you the same. You are setting yourself up for failure if you expect others to treat you as you treat them. I wish the real world worked that way but it does not.
Some suggestions I have found that help me. When alone I turn the TV on and let it just run to create background noise and chatter. Meetup groups are great too. There are probably some single meetup groups that you could go to on Friday nights just to get you social and out of the thoughts inside of your head.
I hope this helps. I don't know you but I can relate.
Sending hugs.
