I'm Lonely
Having no one in my life has never been a problem. I have friends, but none close. Been in relationships and got out of them cause I was bored or just...done. Lately however, I find myself seeking connections more and more. Trying to find someone to deal with my special kind of crazy. It's a lofty goal, admittedly, but they say there's someone for everyone.
The more I try though and the more I fail...the more I fall into the storm in my head. The one that screams at me for being so imperfect and defective. It's a fuel to a fire that will consume me. Should I stop? Should I give up the pursuit of happiness and the feeling of being loved?
I'm afraid I'll with never find it or I will and then just get bored of it. Leave it again to placate the screaming in my mind.
I need to sleep.
I need to stop drinking.
The more I try though and the more I fail...the more I fall into the storm in my head. The one that screams at me for being so imperfect and defective. It's a fuel to a fire that will consume me. Should I stop? Should I give up the pursuit of happiness and the feeling of being loved?
I'm afraid I'll with never find it or I will and then just get bored of it. Leave it again to placate the screaming in my mind.
I need to sleep.
I need to stop drinking.
36-40, M
