I'm worried about everything and nothing at the same time..

So basically, I'm just a paralyzed mess of worry 🥹

I had a break from social media (mostly), which was much needed. Last night I checked my Insta and saw that Anas was martyred 😭 Anas was a young journalist in Gaza — he wasn't a terrorist, not Hamas, no matter how much IOF tries to spin that. He already knew they would kill him when they put him on a list of targets, saying he was Hamas — which is ironic, considering they claim that Hamas is hiding, while Anas was out in the streets reporting every day and night.

I'm so done with these people. I'm so done with the world at this point. I feel like the world's gone crazy, and I'm just standing on the sidelines waiting for people to wake up from their trance-like state of mind... wondering why they're not seeing what I'm seeing.

We talked about visiting family for Christmas, but with everything going on with Trump and his administration, I'm low-key scared of entering the States right now. All the hate scares me.. The president is a 34-count felon with birthright citizenship, who comes from an immigrant family, has an immigrant wife, and yet he wants to end birthright citizenship and basically get rid of all immigrants (especially criminals). Bro, that's literally you... Not to mention that we all know he's on the Epstein list and is a freaking pedo rapist...

Ugh. It's 2 a.m., and my mind is spinning. It's been spinning for weeks. I've had so many nightmares and woke up twice this weekend in panic. I'm drained, tired, in pain (physically and mentally), and just worried for humanity 🥹

Last night I woke up to something poking (hard) my left shoulder trying to wake me, but I was alone and nothing was touching me 🥹 I woke up screaming and my husband came running in to check on me 😂

If anyone would like to buy me an island, let me know.. I need a break from people - as if.. 🥹

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HijabaDabbaDoo · F

Please look after yourself.
I genuinely understand how heartbreaking it is. I understand the fatigue that comes with caring enough to speak on something but not being able to implement widespread action. It's soul crushing. Nothing really sets me and others like me apart from them. We get given privilege by chance. To have privilege and not do anything with it is cowardly.
It's better to get it wrong but to have said something, to have tried to care and to take position than to aimlessly flounce about.
We look up to historical figures not just on war but on components of life, interpersonal and intrapersonal relationship that were political in nature, and ignore the very nature of how these people took a position. Complicity isn't good enough in this day and age.
I appreciate you being vocal, I really do, but nothing will come from you destroying your mental and physical health. It's okay to care and to temporarily distance yourself from the suffering of the world. Humans aren't made to bear it all. Learning to navigate when to check in and out will be the best thing you can do for yourself and it won't take away from how much you care.

Cassieeee · 31-35, F

@HijabaDabbaDoo I'm trying my best, but I feel so guilty whenever I do, specially because of the families I'm trying to help 🥺 I know I can't help anyone if I get burned out and collapse, but I'm also having a hard time allowing myself to "step away" for more than a day.. I also worry that something might happen while I'm "gone". Idk. I wish more people cared, then the world wouldn't be like this..
I hope you take care of yourself as well 🫂

SinlessOnslaught · M

Cassie just remember that none of this is new. Countries have been invaded and people have been subject to genocide for your and my whole life. It's only being addressed in popular media now because it's happening to NATO-adjacent countries.

I know, that sounds awful. And it is. Human lives are valuable regardless of nationality. But my point is that there is nothing to worry about now that wasn't already a reality before. Not in terms of war and public perception. It's all the same. Any new worry we have over that is false.

The Trump thing though... idk, I'm a bit on edge here in the US myself about that so I have nothing to say there.

Cassieeee · 31-35, F

@SinlessOnslaught It's nothing new, but the difference is that people can't say they "didn't know" now. It's broadcasted live, and the fact that some people still find reasons as to why it's okei to kill people, is extremely concerning..

SinlessOnslaught · M

@Cassieeee I'll give you that.

Stay strong, you're a good person.

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