A letter to my ex..

It kinda helps to share so..

Do you remember Christmas? It was the first Christmas after my dad died.
During the night my stepdad went into psychosis. I got angry because that’s my go to emotion whenever something goes bad. There was glass everywhere, blood on the walls and floor, ambulance outside, 911 on the line. In the chaos, you looked at my phone and my messages. You saw a message I got from an old friend asking how I was doing, saying it’s been a long time since we last spoke. I walked into my bedroom trying to get away from all the noise. You showed me the message and raised your hand while walking towards me until I was pinned up against the door, covering my face while crying. You wanted to leave me because someone texted me. I had to delete facebook, just like I had to delete everything and everyone one by one, until I only had you left. When my mom came in because she heard me crying, you quickly said that I was upset about my dad, and I just went with it. After you calmed down, you asked me why I covered my face and if I got scared. I said yes. You told me that's good, that I should be scared of you..