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Having CPTSD is like having pop-up ads in your brain for a horror movie that's based on your life.

I don't understand why I'm struggling so much lately..
Maybe it's all the added stress.

I'm tired of dissociating because I get so intense flashbacks that my body shuts down, and I'm just stuck in a tornado of unwanted memories and feelings.

I wish I would've delt with it, instead of just pretending like nothing happened every time.
I also hate all the memories that pop up with no ending, like I remember parts of it, or the feelings I had, but then my brain shuts down and won't let me remember everything, so I'm left with the same parts on repeat with no closure. Idk, it's hard to explain.

Thankfully I don't feel like this all the time, it comes and goes. Bad thing is that I can be having a great day, feel amazing, and then suddenly something or someone triggers me and I shut down for days..

I'm both worried and curious to see what will happen when I lower my dosage of the meds I'm taking for ptsd. 🙄
Nitedoc · 51-55, M
A lot of people here care about you Cassie. Take care of yourself. 🌤
Cassieeeee · 31-35, F
@Nitedoc 🥺 Thank you
Nitedoc · 51-55, M
@Cassieeeee You're welcome.
Nitedoc · 51-55, M
Don't lower your meds without telling your MD.
Cassieeeee · 31-35, F
@Nitedoc My psych doctor decided to lower my meds, cause he said they're not working as good anymore.. 🙄 First he wanted to up the dosage, but then he said to just lower them and cut them out to see what happens. And then he signed me out of the hospital lol
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olderuncle944 · 70-79, M
Do you black out or go into a trance there is a friend on sw that also has cptsd/
olderuncle944 · 70-79, M
@Cassieeeee Why did they stop treatment
Cassieeeee · 31-35, F
@olderuncle944 they don’t know how to help me
olderuncle944 · 70-79, M
@Cassieeeee Have you been open and honest with the therapist I now my friend has had several therapist and only one knew she was a submissive unfortunate that therapist passed away
Pfuzylogic · M
Can you identify who/what triggers you and why?
Pfuzylogic · M
@Cassieeeee
With episodes that you have shared; might be time to look for a different Psychiatrist. One who cares that you are able to protect your mind.
Cassieeeee · 31-35, F
@Pfuzylogic yeh, I've been told that by my doctor and this "life coach" I have, but I feel drained and unmotivated to get help atm. Feels pointless right now.
olderuncle944 · 70-79, M
@Pfuzylogic You should start a journal and do it when you remember a trigger and how you felt . some times drugs start losing here effectiveness .My antidepressants are doing that so reduced the dosage and now completely off them .
Sapio · 51-55, M
Are your meds being lowered to ween you off of them so that a new cocktail can be tried?
Cassieeeee · 31-35, F
@Sapio No he wants me to just get off them
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