Let's recap the messages tho.
I'm sorry in advance for anyone bored with this already, I think I just need to do it for myself but would also love a feedback.
I was planning to share the screenshots, but not sure anyone would read it, but she basically stated how she's been begging me to come see her for 4-5 years, she had big plans for us, and that she just watch us argue all night, and it all pissed her off..
So, let’s recap the «4-5 years” that she’s been begging me to come see her city.
5 years ago, it was 2019, and we went to Miami together. Our plan was to travel to Texas after Miami, which she dropped out on - leaving me to travel to Texas alone.
4 years ago – 2020 – The pandemic broke out and nobody could travel.
3 yrs. – 2021, I moved back home after 5 years and had the biggest mental break down I’ve ever had, which ended with me starting therapy. Clearly not able to travel.
2yrs – 2022, Still in therapy, diagnosed with C-PTSD and not even able to work 100%, I broke down after a summer of working a lot and ended up in an ambulance to the ER. Had a few trips to Spain with my husband to pick up my belongings and started taking Meds. She also came to see me for a few days.
1yr ago – 2023, Not able to travel for other reasons, but told her I would come as soon as I could and had the money too. She was supposed to come visit but canceled.
Now – 2024, we could finally travel and first trip we went on was to see her. And because of my impulsivity we also went to 2 other countries because why not?
Also, we weren’t arguing... I was annoyed, mostly with her interfering and going against what I said. Like we were on her tour, and he needed to pee so she told him to just pee outside in the city, I said no (you can literally get arrested for it), and instead of respecting that, she said “Yes, he can! There’s no police here it’s fine!”. Which annoyed me more. When I said that I didn’t want us both to be fucked up wasted in a new place, she came at me harshly saying that I have issues and I’m the fucking problem. THAT is why I kept having a bad attitude, not because I was “arguing” with my husband. But whatever. I have a loooong history of getting fucked up wasted, not caring about myself or others while drunk and it has caused me a lot of traumas, so the fact that she wouldn’t respect that is so disrespectful to me. I know myself drunk, I know how impulsive I am, I know what is best for me and I also know my husband so the fact she kept pushing for me to stop worrying and for us all to have fun was what made me annoyed. She also tried to give me an ultimatum saying that if I didn’t smile and have fun she would leave, then started counting loudly, and at that point I stayed mad while she counted and said OK when she said she would leave, because It felt so bad to be spoken to like that. She also said she was planning to come see me in May, “but if this is how you act then I won’t come!”, like ENOUGH already.
I can understand that she was upset about her plans not being followed, and I can understand she had high expectations and was excited. However I still expect an apology, and when I asked for one she started coming at me again about how her feelings don't matter and I only care about myself. I tried to explain that if I acted like that towards her I would apologize the next day and ask to speak to her. She then continued how I don't care about her or our friendship and if I came to see her I would wait a month until her vacation. Thing is that I don't have vacation in a month.
AND she brought up my ex.
Ugh, I'm getting annoyed again 😂
I think our problem is that we expect different things from each other, like she's getting angry with me over stuff that I wouldn't get angry about like not doing the things she wants - when she came to visit me we didn't do any of the things we had planned, but I was happy just seeing her and spending time with her so that didn't bother me. I was also off my adhd meds which made my brain race and following a "schedule" is like my worst case scenario 😅
I keep thinking that I'm the problem (probably cause she's told me about 50 times), and that I should say sorry and take on all fault so that we can keep our friendship, but then I reread the messages she's sent and remember the things she said and I feel like that would be fake to do because I don't feel like I was 100% the problem either.
I was planning to share the screenshots, but not sure anyone would read it, but she basically stated how she's been begging me to come see her for 4-5 years, she had big plans for us, and that she just watch us argue all night, and it all pissed her off..
So, let’s recap the «4-5 years” that she’s been begging me to come see her city.
5 years ago, it was 2019, and we went to Miami together. Our plan was to travel to Texas after Miami, which she dropped out on - leaving me to travel to Texas alone.
4 years ago – 2020 – The pandemic broke out and nobody could travel.
3 yrs. – 2021, I moved back home after 5 years and had the biggest mental break down I’ve ever had, which ended with me starting therapy. Clearly not able to travel.
2yrs – 2022, Still in therapy, diagnosed with C-PTSD and not even able to work 100%, I broke down after a summer of working a lot and ended up in an ambulance to the ER. Had a few trips to Spain with my husband to pick up my belongings and started taking Meds. She also came to see me for a few days.
1yr ago – 2023, Not able to travel for other reasons, but told her I would come as soon as I could and had the money too. She was supposed to come visit but canceled.
Now – 2024, we could finally travel and first trip we went on was to see her. And because of my impulsivity we also went to 2 other countries because why not?
Also, we weren’t arguing... I was annoyed, mostly with her interfering and going against what I said. Like we were on her tour, and he needed to pee so she told him to just pee outside in the city, I said no (you can literally get arrested for it), and instead of respecting that, she said “Yes, he can! There’s no police here it’s fine!”. Which annoyed me more. When I said that I didn’t want us both to be fucked up wasted in a new place, she came at me harshly saying that I have issues and I’m the fucking problem. THAT is why I kept having a bad attitude, not because I was “arguing” with my husband. But whatever. I have a loooong history of getting fucked up wasted, not caring about myself or others while drunk and it has caused me a lot of traumas, so the fact that she wouldn’t respect that is so disrespectful to me. I know myself drunk, I know how impulsive I am, I know what is best for me and I also know my husband so the fact she kept pushing for me to stop worrying and for us all to have fun was what made me annoyed. She also tried to give me an ultimatum saying that if I didn’t smile and have fun she would leave, then started counting loudly, and at that point I stayed mad while she counted and said OK when she said she would leave, because It felt so bad to be spoken to like that. She also said she was planning to come see me in May, “but if this is how you act then I won’t come!”, like ENOUGH already.
I can understand that she was upset about her plans not being followed, and I can understand she had high expectations and was excited. However I still expect an apology, and when I asked for one she started coming at me again about how her feelings don't matter and I only care about myself. I tried to explain that if I acted like that towards her I would apologize the next day and ask to speak to her. She then continued how I don't care about her or our friendship and if I came to see her I would wait a month until her vacation. Thing is that I don't have vacation in a month.
AND she brought up my ex.
Ugh, I'm getting annoyed again 😂
I think our problem is that we expect different things from each other, like she's getting angry with me over stuff that I wouldn't get angry about like not doing the things she wants - when she came to visit me we didn't do any of the things we had planned, but I was happy just seeing her and spending time with her so that didn't bother me. I was also off my adhd meds which made my brain race and following a "schedule" is like my worst case scenario 😅
I keep thinking that I'm the problem (probably cause she's told me about 50 times), and that I should say sorry and take on all fault so that we can keep our friendship, but then I reread the messages she's sent and remember the things she said and I feel like that would be fake to do because I don't feel like I was 100% the problem either.
