I need some advice 🥺

I showed my therapist the conversation I had with the guy that groomed me and my friends. And the conversation my friend sent me.. I also told her about what he did..

Now, she asked if I’ve ever reported him, I said no, she then said that we’ll talk more about it next week, but that reporting him is an option, and specially since I have evidence..

I’ve never seen it as an option, cause it’s so long ago, and the thought of talking to the police literally gives me anxiety..

Also.. He has a kid now. What if I report and that ruins her life? And what if he’s changed, and actually is a good person now and then I ruin that. Aaaaand he’s tried to kill himself 7 times, one of them he blamed me for, what if he does it and it’s my fault..

My head is spinning..

And what can they even do?

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

ElwoodBlues · M

First off, I would advise you to completely discount everything he tells you about himself. He's had success manipulating you in the past, and manipulation is one of his favorite methods, so mistrust what he tells you. Problem is recidivism rates are pretty high among child molesters. So he may just be trying to buy more time to molest more girls. Based on recidivism stats it's not unlikely.

Your concerns are valid concerns. But I think they each have balancing concerns.

What if reporting him wrecks his life? How many lives has he wrecked already? How many more might he wreck?

What about his child? Could go either way - he could turn into a good dad, or he could molest his own daughter.

What if he commits suicide? That's his choice. If he's like Epstein and can't live in a world where he can't molest, then suicide may be best all around.

Ultimately, you are not responsible for either his behavior OR how society deals with it. Ultimately, he's already chosen his path in life - repeated molestation of multiple victims. If he's cleaned up his life, if he's become a good dad, a judge will take that into account in sentencing if he gets convicted. If he's continuing his pattern, then you are doing your community a GIANT favor by reporting and putting a stop to his monstrous behavior.