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Fresh outta jail, out on bail 🙏

The same night as my last post, I got arrested & booked into jail. I got pulled over for my taillights being out (my headlights were on & I had no idea my taillights weren't working). Cop saw that I had 3 warrants, one being a felony warrant, so I got put right into handcuffs & hauled off.

I always knew this could happen since I knew I had warrants. I was hoping I would have time to take care of my family & save up some money for a lawyer but life doesn't always work out the way we want it to. I thought it was already a bad day because my gf left with our baby... then I ended up in a cell that same night 🤦 so yeah... Shit could always be worse I guess.

Here's a little bit about my experience though. As soon as I went in I immediately cliqued up with the Chicanos & the kinfolk. I always love the kinfolk in jail because they're so funny & they make the whole experience feel easier. The first day, one of the older dudes looked at me & said, "you don't look like you belong in here" & I said what? Then he said, "nah I mean I've been watching you & the way you carry yourself & interact with people.. you look like you stand on business. You don't belong in a place like this". That actually meant a lot to me. He & I immediately got along. One of the OG kinfolk even talked to me for a while. He opened my eyes to a lot of different things & he had a lot of respect for me as well.

Once I got into my bunk, I was in an area full of 80 people. We just walked around hanging out, talking, exercising, & I did a lot of writing. One dude let me borrow his tablet so I watched a long parenting video & I took multiple pages of notes so I could bring it home with me. The Dr in the video did prison time & changed his life so it was from a very relatable perspective. I even wrote a song.

My first day in, I didn't know how to set up my PIN & voice verification on the phones so I asked a random Chicano who was walking past me. He gladly helped me out then when I picked up the phone he saw the tattoos on my hand & wrist. He asked me straight up, "aye you a Norteño?" & I told, "yeah foo, ***" (I'm censoring that because I don't go around claiming my shit to non-gang affiliates so I never say it on SW). He pulled his shirt down & showed me the Norte bird on his chest & told me, "we'll talk later".
After I got off the phone he came to ask me about the hood I was from, how I joined, the more he talked to me he was like, "yeah you're definitely a Norteño, you stand on principles like you're supposed to & I'm glad to see you're not all tweaked out on drugs or anything stupid".

Turns out he's an OG head that did 20 years in prison before he got out & straightened his life up. He was back in jail simply because he had a gun on him as a felon. He introduced me to the very few other Norteño homies. They showed me how to make my bed, how to operate amongst everyone. Chicanos & kinfolk aren't generally supposed to link with each other in jails or prisons but it's different for us Norteños. We see kinfolk as unified with us & they accept us the same way. So I was immediately good with all the Chicanos & kinfolk without any issues. That honestly made my short time in there very bearable because we could all just be real, talk, & laugh together. Even last night we were just laying in our bunks laughing our asses off forever before finally going to sleep 😅

Then my dad was able to post bond for me to get released 🙏 when I got out my phone was dead. I had no cash. I tried to buy a bus pass to get home but my card kept declining. This random guy outside the gas station bought me a bus pass & I was so grateful for that. I had to walk miles to the next bus though so on my way there I passed an older lady who commented on how fast I was walking. I told her, " I just got outta jail & my legs are killing me but I'm rushing to get home & see my daughter" she asked if I had a bus pass & I told her how somebody just gave me one. She was like, "oh I was about to give you one too 😅"

Then at my last bus stop before getting home, I asked a random guy if he knew when the bus would get there since I couldn't check my phone. He told me & we started talking. A few minutes later he pulled out a bus pass & offered it to me. I told him "no it's okay man I just got one thankfully" & he said "no look at it". I looked & it was a 31 day bus pass. I was shocked like, "bro those are pricey why would you give me that?" & He simply said, "you might need it more than I do. Plus I get them for free, just take it man".
I was soooo f*cking grateful 🙏 I just kept saying "man God is good. There really is good people out here" & now I'm finally home again.

Sadly, my daughter is at her grandma's because my gf was working late (if she's even still my gf 😔). So I won't see her until a little later but the entire time I was in jail she was all I could think about. Her... & going back to work. Because I missed a few days without notice & I might not have a job anymore. But I'm gonna go in on Monday anyway & hope for the best.

As shitty as everything has been lately, I'm grateful. I'm here, I'm ready to deal with whatever I gotta deal with. I honestly think things went the way they were supposed to. Maybe I needed to go to jail. I needed that time to think & reflect. Because when my gf left that note & took the baby I had no idea how to even fix myself 😔 I didn't know if I could. Now I know I can & I really want it more than anything. Because this type of life just ain't it
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Ontheroad · M
Hang in there Chief... you've come a long way and while the immediate road ahead may be hard, you'll do it and come out the other side and be the better for it.

You have the heart and strength, of that I have no doubts.
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
@Ontheroad It's definitely gonna be hard & I'm definitely gonna have to do time.. it just depends on how long they wanna give me. I know I'll be okay. But it ain't really about me anymore ever since I had my daughter. I just wanna work & provide for my family but I can't do that if I'm locked up. I'm worrying about my gf & my daughter more than anything because it would be sooo hard for my gf to get by on her own. If I do time though, that's probably how it'll be. Which means we'll likely lose the apartment & everything 😔

I'm trying not to dwell on those thoughts though. One step at a time
Ontheroad · M
@ChiefJustWalks yes, it's about what you have, and family, but it is about you... maybe more than anything, it is about you. They are depending on you getting through this.
foldedunfolding · 41-45, F
@ChiefJustWalks this answered my question..just now seeing this :(