How I imagine the average day for the average American

Wake up at about 8am. Spray aerosol cheese directly into mouth.

Get up, go for breakfast. Breakfast is a stack of waffles with bacon and maple syrup followed by some kinda cereal called something like Honey Maple Fudge Cheetos.

Get dressed. Take the shotgun from under the bed. Hop on the ATV and go to Walmart to buy more aerosol cheese.

Back home. Spend an hr saluting the flag.

Off to the drive thru for lunch. 14 triple cheeseburger and a diet coke.

Back home in time to watch America's Dumbest Animals on TV.

Spend the Afternoon making meatloaf from roadkill grizzly bear.

Eat meatloaf for dinner. Wash down with 14kg cheesecake and gallon of ice-cream.

Watch a few episodes of favourite detective show called something like Gator.

Back to bed with a soothing cup of black coffee and a cuban cigar.

Amirite? 🤔

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CurrentName · 51-55, M

That actually sounds pretty damn good!!

MyNameIsHurl · 46-50, F

Yeah but where can I get honey maple fudge cheetos? I havent seen them at Walmart

TrunkZ · 61-69, M

Exactly. And on our birthday we get....

Nightwings · F

@TrunkZ Ewww! 🙀

TrunkZ · 61-69, M

@Nightwings Hahaha... Nothing redeeming about it but it is tempting, no? 🤔🤔

Nightwings · F

@TrunkZ Lmao no! Never! xD

caccoon · 36-40

You got it all right except they don't have real maple syrup

TryingtoLava

You forgot prayer time

CurrentName · 51-55, M

@TryingtoLava
We play American Family Radio Thru the day.
It's a religious station.

Mindfulness

ViciDraco · 41-45, M

That's the weekend. During the week we wake up clutching our guns. We have to sleep with them in case someone breaks into the house. Then we go to the drive thru in our hummers on the way to work where we watch immigrants labor for us all day and pocket the profits. Then we go out for lunch and fire our guns into the air for fifteen minutes. Then we return to work and talk about how happy we are that we got rid of union jobs and pensions. Then we make fun of other countries for taxing people to pay for Healthcare. Then we go home and sit in front of the TV watching cops and trying to ignore that we think we might have cancer because we can't actually afford to go the doctor to find out. Then we pray to Jesus to kill the communists. Clutch our guns. And go back to bed.

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