any tips to get over a death ?

my father died in 2016.
first 4 years after his death i was fine I never thought about him.

2020 comes by he comes to me in a dream.

Then i get depressed & still is 5 years later.

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4meAndyou · F

Dreams sneak up on us sometimes, and they can be VERY upsetting. Dreams are our subconscious mind trying to work through a problem or issue that we neglected.

I am speculating, but it sounds as though you didn't mourn your father. Mourning is a process that actually HELPS us to cope with losing a loved one.

AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F

Death is not about mourning a death its about celebrating a life. You don't "get over" a death you accept it. Its a part of life. And depression will get you nowhere. It wont bring them back, it wont change anything its just a pity party and a waste of time. Every day that you are depressed you miss out on some happiness in your own life, you will look up one day and you will be 80 years old. Your life will have passed you by because you weren't living it. Do not allow someone whose no longer here take your joy. They would want you to move on and be happy.

Gibbon · 70-79, M

@AngelUnforgiven Mighty advice. Easier said than done. Have you ever lost half of your world and experienced that hole in your soul?
This is as helpful as telling someone to get over it. Unwelcome words. The celebration part is a mindset difficult for many.

AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F

@Gibbon i lost my mom, dad, oldest brother, a son and a daughter. So yes! I have. Have you ever buried a child so small that preemie clothing wouldn't even fit. So you had to bury her in a doll's dress? Have you ever picked out a shoe box sized coffin? Well i have, TWICE! So yes! I've lost more than half my soul when i buried my 2 kids smh . I didnt say get over it genius i said you cannot dwell on it, because life goes on.🙄

kodiac · 22-25, M

Did you get to say goodbye? Maybe it's time [media=https://youtu.be/DTFbGcnl0po]

SStarfish ·

Idk sorry for your loss tho

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

Definitely see a therapist to help work it out. It's your grief process, no one can tell you how to do it. My dad passed in 2019, and while one never gets "over" it, I realize how lucky I was to have him for as long as I did (51+ years).

swirlie · 31-35, F

What you are depressed about is all the unfinished business you had with your father before he died, none of which got properly addressed. My advice to you would be to simply forgive your father for all that stuff that never got talked about and then let it go. Your father has moved on and his coming to you in a dream is HIM wanting for YOU to move on as well.

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