I remember once when I was 7 or 8, I was riding horses with my mum

We lived in a mountain range, and there were sprawling trails. My mum decided we should go forward into an uncleared area, the brush was so thick. You really couldn't see anything in front of you, and there was a lot of swamp around

She got angry at me because I didn't want to go in there, and turned to me and called me a stick in the mud, and said I'd never get anywhere if I didn't take risks

I still think about it often, and imagine how disappointed shed be in me. I am still overly cautious and I can't help it. I was always a reluctant and avoidant child and I am the same as an adult

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Iwantyourhotwife · 22-25

Hey, these moments sometimes stick for a long time and control how we view things. But I think caution and safety are a beautiful thing and it has its place. Taking risks might be needed sometimes but we all got something that comes natural to us.

I take it she wouldn't be disappointed cuz you came a long way. Parents love to see their children grow. Don't let that one memory get too big

WaryWitchWandering · 36-40, F

Doesn’t sound like you were a reluctant and avoidant child… sounds more like mom couldn’t see past her own desire in this scenario

If my child was extremely uncomfortable with any situation i was voluntarily about to put us through, I would change my route or talk it through if I truly thought they would enjoy themselves

It’s not about ME in those situations. It’s about their safety and I like to be sure they feel heard/understood

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

I'm like that too, especially with anything where I need to deal with people. My mom says I used to be completely opposite as a little child and she didn't know how to deal with my lack of self-preservation, then everything turned around and I became overly fearful and overly cautious. I wonder how do these things work, really.

caccoon · 36-40

@CrazyMusicLover ack, sorry I keep hitting the wrong emotes, my brain is messed up.

But yeah... It's a strange thing 💙💙

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

@caccoon That's okay. I wonder how many times it happened to me and I didn't even notice. 😶😅

DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F

I was and am much the same. My mom always tried to push me into risky situations and even as a small child I hated it. I was always cautious and careful. Even now, my bf is always teasing me about "tiptoeing through life".

Well, hey. When you've been through enough trauma and chaos, you develop caution as a survival mechanism. If they don't like it they can kick rocks. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M

Not as much as you think

SW-User

Thank you for the share in story. May I ask a question, if you don't mind, is your mother still with you?

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SW-User

@caccoon So in a way you are essentially estranged from your mother? That's hard, I'm sorry. Maybe one day you can ask, but I'm sure you don't have your hopes up. ♥️

caccoon · 36-40

@SW-User it's okay, she's very difficult to talk to. I haven't seen her in 12 years. We have a lot of differing political views and she seems to just like to borrow money from me so yeah... I still love her but she's had a fucked up life and I don't know how to relate to her well

SW-User

@caccoon Understandable, and it's likely wisest for you to keep distance unless she demonstrates change to you.

SStarfish ·

You mom was a jerk. When my girl doesn't wanna go in a swamp i carry her i don't call her names

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SStarfish ·

Yeah i guess i have bad habits from my environment too 😬 maybe she was trying to be supportive but doesn't know how? 😳 @caccoon

caccoon · 36-40

@SStarfish totally. We can only learn in inches. I haven't had kids because I know I didn't have a healthy upbringing and I don't want it to affect others

And yes, I think so 💙 I think she means the best but she is, and always was, distant. And so am I, but I hope, marginally, less so

SStarfish ·

Ay live and learn i guess 😬@caccoon

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