i don't know anyone who has been through what i have

and this makes me very sad, bitter and annoyed too.

because i've had such hard life of having mental problems, trauma, and other problems, i missed out on my 20s and 30s, never got what i wanted, never achieved what i wanted, never got the relationships i wanted and never lived, i have basically spent my entire 20s & 30s coping with my mental problems, being by myself and now i'm in my late 40s?

i've lived alone 20 years in a little flat 'doing better' with my own hard work, my only support are my elderly parents who live far away, lost touch with friends of my youth,....my childhood was wonderful.

but feel devastated at what i've missed out on, no one i know of or see online has missed out to that extent, or been through what i have been through, and that makes me feel very alone and disconnected from people, from society.

seriously now, how can i possibly come to terms with everything i've gone through and missed out on? my entire twenties and thirties gone.....my mother was saying there's no point in dwelling on what missed out on now, it only hurts me and causes more stress.....i have to focus on what have now and what i'm trying to work towards and the years i still have left?

does anyone have any thoughts about this?

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Arrow17 · F

You are lucky that you had a wonderful childhood and good parents to give you emotional support. I don't have parents who love me unconditionally.

I am very unwelcomed by my own mother. I am not allowed to stay in her house for 3 days while visiting.

My parents hated me because I disagreed a lot with them. I fell out with my mom. I told her that I won't attend her funeral and donate money for her burial.
They don't care about my feelings. They are always trying to find faults in my fashion, behaviour, lifestyle and decisions. My parents and siblings are toxic people in my life. I don't trust them for anything. I may sue them in court one day.

My childhood witnessed domestic violence. I didn't attend my dad's funeral and I didn't care about his illness and death. I didn't send any money to help him.

I try to control my emotions by thinking and doing something that makes me happy. I make extreme decisions and it makes me feel good.

My careers were awful. I changed a lot of jobs. I felt I didn't achieve anything.
I don't like to work for people. I am getting older and don't like to be surrounded by people. People don't care about me. Why do I need them in my life?

All I need to do is earn plenty of money by betting in the stock market. I don't care about making friends. Money will have never betrayed me.