I have a question.......

Do not tell yourself bad things about them.
Everything happens for a reason and we cannot control all things.

People come into our thoughts but letting go is the key.

Get absorbed in some routine , perhaps it might be a walk or a book or going to markets or even better, find a passion.

Appreciating little things goes a long way.
And that shift in mindset will help you navigate through difficult thoughts.

Shift focus to yourself.
Prioritise yourself.

Change gears.

There’s nothing wrong with someone like that entering your mind. It happens and will continue to happen from time to time. But when the thought of them starts to take up residency is when it can turn into a problem. That’s when our minds can start to shape the innocent thought of them into a longing for them and the person you hoped they could be for you. And by playing into the fantasy of what could be you could inadvertently begin breaking your own heart over and over again because your mind will see this “event” as something to latch onto and go to often if your heart begins to race and the feel-good chemicals within start to get activated. That’s when the cut off needs to filter in and one way to do that is to reroute your focus to what is…not what could’ve been in an ideal world. Not necessarily thinking of them as monsters, but grounding yourself in the reality of who they actually are to you. It’s what I do when I start romanticizing the what if’s. I also distract the crap out of my mind by making it focus on something shiny enough to break that cycle, if it becomes one. And by shiny I mean anything that sparks a bit of dopamine and serotonin.

No, why spoil the possibility of one day actually being part of this person's life . You never know what is around the next corner !

I do sometimes think of these kinds of people but then I don't let these thoughts overwhelm me

Eventual realization of how they appear without you wearing rose colored glasses. They're just another person.

Doesn't mean forget they made you smile. Always nice to have a good memory.

I think them to be a mix of good n bad much like myself and try to remind myself of the good times and the bad times and the reality.
The reality out lives all the times and that’s the fact.Fantasies don’t rule our lives .
So I leave it there where it started .

Ofcourse I can’t control my mind always, ,fantasies provide that ‘maybe effect’ which is uplifting somedays ,and I use it exactly for that,uplifting my spirits and self love.
and I would suggest you to do that .
Use that as a strength rather than a weakness that someone somewhere had loved you for what you were someday.

I wouldn’t think bad things about them. I’d just keep my mind occupied with other things like hobbies and friends

Staying busy with something better always helps me avoid this.

with my ex bestie i built them up real bad in my head at the end and when it was over. i felt completely betrayed and i could only replay the last year and a half of our friendship. i felt very hurt and i had never been so angry

anger is important but it is not healing. im glad i was able to let it go. i hope shes doing better and is happy now and has the family she's always wanted 🩷 i understand why she's not in my life anymore but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the silly memories

"it was a privilege to love you and it was a privilege to let you go (both helped shape the person i am today)"

Yes, I tell myself things to give them the ICK. It definitely helps.

Keepsakes.

You could put it in a box, along with all that pent up frustrations and bury it.

The way my mind works.

Either that, or I find the person, and say my peace then deal with the consequences.