There’s nothing wrong with someone like that entering your mind. It happens and will continue to happen from time to time. But when the thought of them starts to take up residency is when it can turn into a problem. That’s when our minds can start to shape the innocent thought of them into a longing for them and the person you hoped they could be for you. And by playing into the fantasy of what could be you could inadvertently begin breaking your own heart over and over again because your mind will see this “event” as something to latch onto and go to often if your heart begins to race and the feel-good chemicals within start to get activated. That’s when the cut off needs to filter in and one way to do that is to reroute your focus to what is…not what could’ve been in an ideal world. Not necessarily thinking of them as monsters, but grounding yourself in the reality of who they actually are to you. It’s what I do when I start romanticizing the what if’s. I also distract the crap out of my mind by making it focus on something shiny enough to break that cycle, if it becomes one. And by shiny I mean anything that sparks a bit of dopamine and serotonin.
