I will not make it to old age and I'm slow but surely starting to accept it.

I had the most beautiful friend in the whole world that believed with all her heart, that just because her mother and grandmother died at age 37, that she would die at that age as well. And guess what. She died at 37 because that's what she believed. She spoke it into existence. I sure miss my friend. If only she had realized that words create life or death and there was no need for her to die, just because of superstition. You're still here. Don't sentence yourself to death. You can change your life if you really want to. You really can. How many of us have been in the depths of despair, at times, but we made it because we had to make it. We didn't have anyone to help us. Not one to cheer us on, but that's what we do, because that's the right thing to do, not take our lives. We weren't put here to take our own lives, but to live and learn, and when we know better we do better. That's just the way it is. Life doesn't come handed to us on a plate. And this is a good thing or we would never live and learn. Get some help and get some depression pills if you have to but do something. Don't waste this precious life that was so graciously handed to us. Life is too precious to waste, even if you can't see it right now. God did not create us to kill ourselves. Satan is a liar. All is not lost. It may surely seem that way, but it is not. I don't want to be that kind of person. I want to say I tried and I made it. It wasn't easy by any means, but I made it!! Anybody can quit. We weren't born to be quitters. We were born to be goal oriented and help others and appreciate the gifts we do have to survive life. Do what it takes. There's times when we all have to see a therapist or take some pills for the time being, and there's nothing wrong with that. Anything to get ourselves straightened out. Could just be a hormonal imbalance. Nothing shameful about it. When we're not thinking straight, then that's when we need to get the help. That doesn't mean we have to stay on these things all the time but if it gets us through, then that's what we do. We do what we can and the Lord will take up the slack if we'll let him, and pray about it. But when were depressed we can't see these things. I know it's hard. I know it's super hard sometimes. But the times I have prayed during the hardest times are the times God pulled me through and he will do that for you, if you will ask him to, and what you can't do, he will help you, if you will allow him to. Many people have found this out. God is the only one who can make a way where there seems to be no way.