Fear not, brave soul! I have shared with that person the true word of our Lord!
That light show is blasphemy! It is created by the evil Mayor Gangleslotte, to turn people away from the one true God, Farblesnozz!
For so it is written in the Holy and Perfect Gliberoo, in the book of Ymehpsalb:
1
1. Now Gangleslotte was jealous of Farblesnozz, for His creations adored Him. And so he disguised himself in white robe and beard, and deceived the people, saying, 2. "Behold! I am Yahweh, your creator! Abandon this worship of Farblesnozz and follow me instead! I alone can save you from destruction!"
3. And Farblesnozz was enraged, for His children began to abandon Him and worship Gangleslotte in his guise as Yahweh. 4. So Farblesnozz created the foul realm of Snazzlekhil, which is called Schmickleton. And He made the Trolls to oversee the great dirt mines, the most useless place in all of creation.
5. And Farblesnozz called upon the man Streborbob, and told him, "Go unto the masses, and tell them of Yahweh's deception, for he is Gangleslotte, the author of evil! 6. And tell them that all who follow Yahweh will shovel dirt for all eternity!"
7. And Streborbob did as Farblesnozz commanded, and told the worshippers of Yahweh what he had said, but they scoffed and mocked at him! "Farblesnozz is a lie, and you are a liar," they shouted. 8. And so Farblesnozz turned His face from the Yahweh worshippers, and never again tried to save them.
2
1. And when Farblesnozz turned His face from the followers of Yahweh, who was really Gangleslotte, they felt the cold and fear of His absence. They fought many wars over many centuries, in their fear and ignorance.
2. And Gangleslotte saw their hatred, and called it love. He encouraged his followers to kill any who would not follow him as they did.
3. But there were some who saw the truth of Farblesnozz, in spite of Gangleslotte's clever lies. And Gangleslotte saw that all his cleverness and deception would come undone if his enemies were not silenced.
4. And so it was that Farblesnozz, disguised once again as Yahweh, came to Earth, and impregnated a woman, Mary.
5. And after he defiled her, he appeared before her in the guise of an angel, and lied, saying, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favour with God. And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High."
6. And with this deception, Gangleslotte created the false and blasphemous religion known as Christianity.
