Why do you still resist Farblesnozz's love?All He wants to do is love you! Why can you not simply submit?
Fellow children of Farblesnozz, hear me! We must resist the forces of Gangleslotte!Hear the wisdom written by our Lord Farblesnozz in the Holy and Perfect Gliberoo! Suoivbo 6:66-69: 66. For Gangleslotte has plotted against humanity, using his guise of Yahweh to sow racial discord. 67. He has written in the foul abomination called...See More »
Ye doubters and scoffers, know ye not that Farblesnozz warned us of your hate?Lacisnesnon 1:1-5 1. Ye workers of iniquity, who claim that there is no Farblesnozz, where is your proof? 2. It cannot be the air, for he hath created it! 3. It cannot be the dirt, before he hath created it! 4. It cannot be the trees, for they...See More »
My brothers and sisters, I am doing battle with a blasphemous daughter of Gangleslotte!Pray to our beloved Lord Farblesnozz, that I might help to turn her from her villainous ways, and bring her back to the path of righteousness!
There are those of you who hate me for my dedication to Farblesnozz, our one true Creator. Some of you have even gone so far as to say hateful things like, "Farblesnozz doesn't exist," "You are an idiot," or "Sir, this is a Wendy's." But I care not. For when I am faced with such hatred and lies, it can only mean that I am telling the...See More »
Why do unbelievers claim without evidence that Farblesnozz is a lie?The Holy and Perfect Gliberoo is all the proof needed to show that He is real!
Ye blasphemers who insist that Farblesnozz is nonsense, WHERE IS YOUR PROOF!?Lacisnesnon 1:1-5 1. Ye workers of iniquity, who claim that there is no Farblesnozz, where is your proof? 2. It cannot be the air, for he hath created it! 3. It cannot be the dirt, before he hath created it! 4. It cannot be the trees, for they...See More »
Tratskoob 1:1-2:51. When Farblesnozz began to create the universe, all was chaos. 2. And Farblesnozz spake, saying, "Let the chaos order itself!" 3. And the universe compressed into a single point, hot and bright, 4. then did burst outward in every direction. 5. And...See More »
Ymehpsalb 1:1-81. Now Gangleslotte was jealous of Farblesnozz, for His creations adored Him. And so he disguised himself in white robe and beard, and deceived the people, saying, 2. "Behold! I am Yahweh, your creator! Abandon this worship of Farblesnozz and follow...See More »
Tihsllub 1:1-21. And Farblesnozz spake unto the people, saying, "Transcribe My words, and hold them sacred and true, for they are perfect and holy. 2. And you shall call the book which you will write the Holy And Perfect Gliberoo, for it is My perfect message."
Gargletwatch 4:17-2117. Pay no attention to false prophets and false gods, for they are the minions of Mayor Gangleslotte. 18. The Holy and Perfect Gliberoo is the only true record of our Lord. 19. He who follows religions not of Farblesnozz will be cast into...See More »
Scoffers and infidels, where is your evidence that Farblesnozz is not real?You have made a positive assertion that Farblesnozz is NOT the creator of the universe, now prove it!
My friends, I have returned!I have been celebrating the 2-month long holiday of Noitacav, during which time all technology is banned. I return to you refreshed and ready to preach the word of Farblesnozz.
MAYOR GANGLESLOTTE RULES THIS WORLD; HIS PRESENCE IS EVERYWHERETihsllub 6:60-66 60. And Gangleslotte declared himself mayor of the whole earth, saying, "This planet you have created is now mine!" 61. But Farblesnozz was not moved. He allowed Gangleslotte's boasting to go unchallenged, and said: 62. "I shall...See More »
Gribblefritz, Chapter 5, verses 1-71. And I looked up at the sky to see from whence the noise came, and lo, I saw a great mouth open. The teeth were sharp as daggers, and the tongue was long and pointed. 2. And the tongue came down from the sky, like that of a chameleon, and scooped...See More »
Tihsllub 1:1-21. And Farblesnozz spake unto the people, saying, "Transcribe My words, and hold them sacred and true, for they are perfect and holy. 2. And you shall call the book which you will write the Holy And Perfect Gliberoo, for it is My perfect message."
If you are condemned to the dirt mines in Schmickleton, there will be no vacation. Isn't it better to pray to Farblesnozz today?
Friends, you have no future without Farblesnozz. Why not pray to him to save you?All it takes for an eternity in Erewhon is a moment on your knees.