What causes a person to dwell on the past and how do you fix being stuck in it?
God doesn't want us to hold on to burdens. When we follow Christ and he forgives us, we need to give him 100% of our burdens, not 99.9%. He wants it all. Complete surrender of our burdens. Yes, that can take time and prayer, but it is worth it. It's important to understand that holding onto the past, can have several psychological and emotional consequences. Here are some key points to consider:
Holding on to the past, creates an emotional burden. And clinging to past experiences, especially negative ones, can lead to ongoing feelings of sadness, anger, or resentment. This emotional burden takes a toll on our health and well-being. It also hinders our personal growth and happiness in Christ.
Grieving people tend to isolate, because of fear and judgement. Isolation then becomes familiar. Believe it or not, grievers also become loyal to the pain, because it's familiar. Another reason someone holds on to their pain is for protection, but the lesson just teaches us to be more cautious and on our toes, the next time we come across challenges, so no need to hold on to them. That can become a very bad habit and keep us trapped to certain ways of thinking or behaving, making it difficult to break free from patterns of dwelling on the past.
There's other reasons why people hold on to the past, as well, but that's not to say it's healthy. It's not. It tears us down inside, little by little and that's why we need to confess it, let God forgive us, forgive ourselves and move on.
Many find comfort in the familiar, even if that familiarity is rooted in negative experiences. Holding onto the past can provide a sense of predictability and control in an uncertain world.
People often long for positive past experiences, seeking to recapture a sense of comfort, security, or belonging.
Unresolved feelings, such as guilt, regret, or anger, can keep people fixated on past events.
Dwelling on the past can be a way to avoid the unknown or potential for future pain or disappointment.
Holding on to the past, can become dangerous to us and our health, because it becomes a psychological payoff, giving us a sense of entitlement, justice, or validation, even if it means dwelling on negative experiences.
Past experiences, both positive and negative, can shape a person's identity and self-perception, making it difficult to let go of certain memories or lessons.
Holding onto resentments, even after the initial trigger has passed, can be a way to maintain a sense of power or control over a situation or person.
This is the hardest one for people to accept. This one, Dr. Phil always mentions on his show. There's a powerful psychological payoff for holding onto the past, no matter what form it takes: it allows people to avoid personal responsibility. When you can blame external circumstances for your problems, you can then turn all your resentment and anger on others.
If we want to let go of the past, we must receive the valuable lessons from it, so we can then move forward.
Most people get stuck in the past, because they think it predicts the future. They feel destined to repeat the same mistakes, so they wallow in the past, instead of learning value of it.
We can find help and comfort from being stuck in the past, by focusing on Christ, fellowshipping with God, praying, reading His Word and surrounding ourselves with positive people. They know that what you focus on, you feel. The energy you put out into the world, is what you get back. And who you surround yourself with, is who you become. Letting go of the past is much more difficult, if you are around people who constantly remind you about it. And last but not least, stay away from toxic people that bring negativity to your life. Choose good friends. Not ones you know will use you.
Leaving my past, present and future in hands of our Lord, I pray to God to heal internally as well as externally and get people out of this vicious circle of holding unto their past.
There are many ways to stop holding unto past but these are all temporary including g medication. The only permanent way is surrender your life to Jesus Christ and be free from the stress of past. It works like a magic.
Holding on to the past is a natural thing and all the religion in the world cannot stop it, if that is how a person is by nature. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being religious, but it cannot alter human nature.
@Crazychick Hun, only God knows our heart, and if we have truly repented. We must remember that people have many different opinions on what it means to give our heart and life to Christ or accept him as our Savior. Sadly, some of those are wrong, due to false teachers or even cult influences.
I don't know about your friend Kelly, bless her heart, and I'm very glad she's happy, but what I can tell you, is that all whom have given their heart and life to Jesus that I know of, experienced the greatest transformation, and that's one sign, the scriptures say, that shows evidence that someone has received Christ as their Savior, and that the Holy Spirit dwells in them, just as God promised.
Here's the verse: "In whom you also trusted, after that you heard the Word of Truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after you believed, you were sealed with that Holy Spirit of promise".
Spiritual growth really depends on how close one is to Christ, how much they pray, how much they study, and if they have made a complete commitment to follow Christ. The Bible mentions this. The more time we give to Christ and especially in prayer and learning through His Word, the more evident the " fruits of the Spirit" are and our spiritual growth. Many (and I'm not including Kelly in this, by any means) believe that simply accepting Christ as Savior, is enough, but it lacks commitment, and then they go on about our business, without paying God any mind. That's really not a relationship. It's a convenience and it doesn't work when it comes to getting Christ all our love. He gave us his best and that's why I feel like I can give him no less, after His dying on the cross for my sins and paying for them.