I Feel Like A Failure At The Most Important Things In My Lif

I am deaf. Well not quite. My hearing is such that I hear people when they are very close and speak clearly. I do hear noises. It really is just a matter of hearing voices. I am very alone due to this.

I have waited years and years to try hearing aids again. Aparently technology has improved. I was given a pair a few weeks ago I was very hopeful that they may work just a little bit. bAftedr the fitting my friend took me to have coffee.

I was utterly devastated to find I was forced to remove the hearing aids to hear anything she said. This really hurt. It was as I had always expected...no one or nothing can help me. I told my friend that I was so hoping to articulate my soul.....

so it is back to the world I have always known and one that I sometimes understand and sometimes do not.

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Samedeepwater · 61-69, M

My ex-inlaws were deaf. That was really my first exposure to deaf culture. When I first met my ex, she didn't mention her parents were deaf, and later we got a laugh out of the fact that the first time I called her house, actually the first three or four times I called her house, the phone would answer and I would hear all these beeping sounds. Having never heard a TTY before, I thought there was something wrong on the phone line.

My father-in-law told me that he hated hearing aids because he couldn't shut out the background sounds. I had never thought of that before, but I suppose the sounds I take for granted, like the refrigerator running, and the TV on the next room, and conversations going on in the restaurant around you, that I block out without even thinking about them, drove him absolutely crazy.

I can't pretend I know exactly how you feel, but because of my exposure to that world, I can certainly empathize. One thing I did take away from the years I knew my in laws was how vibrant and full their lives were. Sure, there were some challenges, but they never seemed to let their lack of hearing bother them. I hope you will not let this disappointment stop you from doing whatever you want to do. And I wish you all the best.

Jenandra · 51-55, M

It is beautiful the way you put this and I do appreciate the time you have taken to share with me.

I have a sight issue as well and this creates a different soace for me...by this I mean I do not fit in the tru deaf culture or a normal culture or that of the blind. Having said this I do not let this govern my life and have adventured further than most.

I long since gave up on using the telephone system and rely on email and text messages. When I lived in another country I was involved with a deaf social group and they were the most vibrant people I have known and lots of fun. I would hope to meet someone who is deaf and further a beautiful relationship.

It is very hard for people without experience to understand ...my ex got tired of trying to communicate with me and still does not really understand....my children are perhaps the only people who know meand are not troubled with communicating.

Life is so beautiful and we are given these things to overcome and push forward the dreams...

the only thing I often feel is that I am not trying hard enough....

it was funny as I do not even have a telephone in my house...I said to my children maybe we should get one...they said to me...that it really has no place in our lives...we can text and use skype and if necessary use our mobile phones...it is not an important issue for us to talk on the telephone....

So yes our expectations and culture are slightly alternative to others....

thanks...

Samedeepwater · 61-69, M

One thing that amazed me about my mother-in-law was that she was an interpreter for the deaf and blind. She would sign on the palms of their hands, and they would be able to feel the words and letters she was forming. It really blew my mind, not only that she was able to do that, but that she took time out of her life to do that.

The advent of texting was a wonderful thing. When I was first married, we bought a portable TTY that was just big enough to cradle the phone. It was pretty expensive back in the day, but it was the only way back then to make sure we always had a way to talk to her parents.

It sounds as if you have a great relationship with your kids. We taught our kids to sign right along with teaching them to speak, so they would never have any problem talking to their grandparents. It actually turned out to be a benefit for us as well because early on when they were very young, they could sign before they learned all the words they needed and it was cool to still be able to communicate using a second language.

I guess the most important lesson I learned was to see people as people. We all have stuff we deal with, and we all make it through the day.

Jenandra · 51-55, M

@Samedeepwater: Ye ...I struggled for years trying to find a way to communicate with the outside world...texting is brilliant...they now also allow you through the deaf relay service to text relay...so you can have a conversation with a hearing person through sms on your phone....life gets better every day.

I would like to learn the art of the tactile signing...I have not been able to find any where to learn this. Those who take the time and effort to communicate with me earn much respect....it is not an easy journey but as you say we get through....

years ago now I had a friend who was a lawn mower man and odd jobs guy. He was quite deaf even with high power hearing aids... I lost touch with him and one day bumjped into him...we had a coffee and suddenly he picked up his mobile phone and started a conversation. I said to him...how? He told me he had cholclear implants....he also told me he was studying to become a lawyer....this is the miracles of our world today.

I met a woman at one point and I told her I was deaf...I had accepted this...growing up I tried verty hard to be hearing in a hearing world...

Even though this woman knew I could not hear she often flew into passionate rages that I was not trying hard enough to hear what she said....or that I missed what she said totally.... It really felt strange that I had accepted this about mebut here she was attempting to pull me into a guilt complex for being who I am...

I have an amazing relationship with my children and my family...so I will pull through and out the other side...

aliens · 36-40, F

I am so sorry to hear this. I hope you feel better now.

Jenandra · 51-55, M

yes I am totally happy with who I am ...I am a passionate and wonderful being ...who is caught within....but I know that I haveto live with who I am rather than who I would rather be...it is wonderful and liberating really...

aliens · 36-40, F

That's inspiring. Thank you.

Jenandra · 51-55, M

you are also inspiring....you believe in the passion of love ...as do I...and this sends me inspiration to journey further in search of the penultimate....smiling broadly..thank you

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