What was something incredibly stupid you did when you were younger that you regret?

In my early 20's I had zero issue getting into a car where someone drunk was behind the wheel. I used to drive absolutely smashed myself and am shocked I never got pulled over or caused any grief. There was one incident I remember getting into the car with my best mate to go pick up pizza. Mind you prior to leaving we had been drinking a lot and I was alright for the most part but he admitted he couldn't see where he was going while driving. I thought nothing of it and felt relaxed but thinking back I should have been very concerned and probably should have drove or just had the damn thing delivered.

For the record I do want to state I no longer drive around absolutely plastered. I am no longer a binge drinker like I once was mainly because my upper abdomen began to hurt when I drank so I had to slow down. That combined with anxiety attacks from drinking has really made me quit just about.

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Iwillwait · M

Renouncing God's existence and being prodigal.

Drugs, alcohol, driving or riding with people that are impaired.

Raised my hand to loved ones while blackout drunk.

Jayciedubb · 56-60, M

@Iwillwait that last one is rough. Are they still in your life? Do they know you regret it?

Iwillwait · M

@Jayciedubb They do, however forgiveness is taken back or really was not truly granted as they stated.

Jayciedubb · 56-60, M

@Iwillwait I can only imagine how it must feel on your end. I've been on the other end and had been granting blind forgiveness for years until I had kids and when they became the age that I can totally remember being based on my birthdays and they still really wanted a lot of my time, it was a bit overwhelming so I tried to think about how my dad handled it and then I remembered that I was scared shitless of him at that age and I never wanted to be around him from as far back as I can remember. My whole life, I thought it was natural, never understanding the bond a parent is supposed to have with their child that's also supposed to be natural. When I realized my dad was never remorseful, it only got worse and he never acknowledged it, I revoked my forgiveness and I haven't spoken to him since. My kids are men now. I know I haven't been perfect but I make amends when I feel I need to and I try to understand their gripes when I know in my heart that I've done nothing wrong.

In your case, maybe they need proof or more proof or something or reinforcement of proof. You know saying sorry and being sorry aren't necessarily the same thing. I hope you get the chance you deserve to prove to them that you're truly sorry. Sometimes it takes the other person to make the same mistake to realize how easy it is to make that mistake. I don't know if that helps

Iwillwait · M

@Jayciedubb My transgression happened with a lover who antagonized me/mocked me and I reacted poorly, unbeknownst to them that I would react that way (to my knowledge) where I was woke up getting beer sprinkled and poured on me.

I never forgive myself either to this event.

It's quite despicable of me, really. I was very young and as I mentioned, passed out/blacked out drunk, and never in a million years do I expect to be forgiven. I have asked for something I never could or would allow myself to feel anyways.

Jayciedubb · 56-60, M

@Iwillwait I've been with a couple women like that. I was able to keep a level head, but I wasn't drunk, and it was extremely difficult. ..like when you go one stroke to far and teeter over the edge and fight like your life depends on it trying not to blow your load.. ..but in a negative way that I imagine still leads extreme satisfaction.

One case in particular has me feeling like i really should've given her the black eye she was begging for. I still feel punked over some of the shit she did to me. ..similiar to the things you described.

She was a total havoc junkie. Nothing in her world could have any sense of order or integrity. Hahaha. I just remembered the time we were driving down the cost. We were fighting because I told her to pour her beer into one of the travel mugs i had bought so she could drink beer in my truck as i drove. She got on me about being such a pussy for not drinking outright and for living in fear and whatever else she could say to try to own me. Then i reminded her how she insists that i pour my beer into a glass when i drink at her place. That only made her worse and she kept lifting her bottle and holding it in view of anyone who might look.

When I had the opportunity (we were going down highway 1, so there were a lot of opportunities to do much more than just drive), I told her I wanted a sip of her beer. When she gave me the bottle, I tossed it out the window.. she got over it pretty quick. Her next move was to check her eye makeup in the visor mirror. She pulls down the visor and starts flicking her lighter and once it's lit she starts raising it towards the ceiling of my truck pretending she needed the light to check her eyes when the visor has a light built into it. She couldn't stand that my truck wasn't beat up and neglected like her car is so she thought she would torch my headliner. Instead, I introduced her to momentum and inertia when I brake checked her into the windshield lol oh yeah, she also wouldn't wear her seatbelt.

The only thing that saved her from an ass kicking from me was that I've never done it and she knew it was out of respect for my mother after what my dad used to do to all of us. I wasn't going to let her take that away from me. In your case, I get it, and I'm wondering if what you did wasn't more of a public service than a case of domestic abuse