I'm a terrible person.

My cat is dying and I feel like a terrible person for my thoughts and actions. He is only five years old and is sick with an infection, anemia, and liver disease. He is so skinny and slowly wasting away. I tried to bring him to the vet, but because I'm not very well off financially, I could only afford to get him some medicine. This is the first reason why I feel like I'm not a good person, because I can't give him the treatment he needs.

As he slowly dies, instead of fighting with him, I have started accepting that he's nearing the end of his life. I can only do what I can by giving him his medicine. Today, I even thought about plans to bury him - where I could bury him and how. I feel terrible for having these thoughts. I've even considered getting a new cat and trying to convince myself it's for the best, but I feel guilty for even thinking about it.

I hate myself for having these thoughts, for considering alternatives to my cat's life.