Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

I Used to Self Harm

What Have I Done?

Locking myself in my room.. I lay on my bed
My head is pounding.. And it's hard to breathe

Thoughts are racing through my head begin to fight with myself

Wondering.. Should I? Or shouldnt I?
My mind is telling me "do it"..
I can't.. I'll let down so many people

I give in.. I pick up my blade
I make a cut or two into my skin
It hurts.. Its been awhile

Before I knew it.. My heart rate slowed down
I could breathe again

Ashamed of myself I put the razor down.. I silently start to cry..

I whisper to myself.. What have I done?


I QUIT CUTTING IN '05 BUT RELAPSED IN' 07. THAT'S WHEN I WROTE THIS. I HAVEN'T CUT SINCE ALTHOUGH THE URGE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE. WRITING AND COMING ON HERE TO SHARE AND TALK TO OTHERS HELPS.
Pinkstarburst · 51-55, F
I have never cut but have found it a frequent thought in my mind lately. It frightens me that I think about it.
sarabear87 · 36-40, F
@Pinkstarburst: I'm sorry :(
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
happytolearn · 51-55, F
Fantastic post. Until you've been there you can't understand the inner turmoil between wanting that instant release and knowing the guilt that will follow. I am 44 and have self harmed most of my adult life. Then I got clean. It's only been a year or so but when the emotions become overwhelming it's still too tempting to reach for the blade. Even knowing it will hurt those around me if they find out isn't always enough. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

 
Post Comment