Why doesn’t it hurt anymore

Relapsed pretty recently. Cut deeper than I used to. Didn’t feel a thing. It made me weirdly upset that hurting myself didn’t hurt the way it was supposed to. Receiving pain is the one thing I can control, and if I lose that I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I’m so mad over it, I don’t know if I can even make it through one day of sobriety.

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assemblingaknob · 26-30, F

been there. you gotta stop. just gotta stop somehow, idk find an alternative. :(

Colonelmustardseed · 36-40

@assemblingaknob What was your healthy alternative? How were you able to stop?

assemblingaknob · 26-30, F

@Colonelmustardseed drawing, going out window shopping or spending time in a cafe, basically stay in public places and keep my hands busy. I was going out so much that the homeless folks all knew me and would say hi. If I had the urge at night, I would go on a mental health support chatroom and chat with others so my hands were busy typing. I'd chat aggressively, with more than 2 people at once so that t would always be typing.

assemblingaknob · 26-30, F

@Colonelmustardseed also, setting daily goals. I'd keep checking the boxes, it made me kinda happy to get shit done that I'd usually procrastinate on. Keep them hands busyyyyyyyyy