What a bipolar should do ?

Well I have been depressed my whole life and now I am bipolar. Why these things always choose me..my loved ones are afraid of me now. I am agressive, I threat , i shout i overreact. sometimes I hate everyone but the very next moment i apologize. No one understands. Everyone is leaving.they are tired of me now. Ofcourse not their fault. Why would anyone tolerate such a person. Nobody wants such burden. People tried to be with me and now they are leaving. I am all on my own and i dont know where to start. How to cure it. Cant afford a pcychologist right now. What to do?

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ruzgar · 22-25

Sorry to hear that you had to go through that...Please don't blame yourself for what people do,they have their own needs and minds.If someone is not willing to learn about what you are dealing with,and support you,then they don't deserve you.Some people prefer to not talk about mental health or personal problems.Recovery is painful,and those people will just make it hard for you.Self help books might help,they usually focus on changing the way you think and teach coping ways(I strongly recommend David Burns' books)But you'll probably need professional help.I don't know about your country,we have free health care here.Is it possible for you to find a counsellor for free?Or perhaps an online counsellor?

Mugin16 · 46-50, M

@ghostdolly: Don't blame the people who withdraw from her. Yes, they should do research about BPD but it is brutally hard to be the target of the rage and abuse of a person who suffers from being BPD when they have done nothing to deserve that. Most withdraw and you cannot blame them for doing that.

Juliet22 · 26-30, F

@ghostdolly: thankyou so much dear. Yes I am a reader. I love reading i will look for some books
Can you recomend me any good book ? I will get that.

Juliet22 · 26-30, F

@Mugin16: yeah I agree . They deserve to be happy. I am not mad at them for leaving. I AM mad at myself for pushing them away

ruzgar · 22-25

@Juliet22: Feeling Good - David Burns
for dealing with depression and terrible thoughts.Other than that,i just watch videos for advice.I am not a reader,yet 😅

ruzgar · 22-25

@Mugin16: Hmm,you could be right.I am just mad at people who don't listen or research about it before speaking