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My BF blames himself for his father's stroke

His dad is going through stage 4 cancer and recently had a pretty awful stroke(non verbal and partially paralyzed). He's managing in the hospital, but they don't expect even 2 weeks. Prior to this, it was an estimate of around 4 months.

He told me his father called him the other day and sounded a bit upset and said he was confused before hanging up-- at the time, I don't think my bf knew what to think. Once his family found out about the stroke, my bf has been believing that he should have realized from that call.

Our relationship is long distance and I want to say what I can, but I don't know the right things to say. I'm trying to be supportive but I feel like I'm not doing that good of a job.
Thingschange4444 · 56-60, M
You can only try to reassure him its not his fault. No one can predict such a aweful thing. Just be there to comfort him if he needs it. Maybe try seek some councilling for him. I wish u well.
It was probably already in progress and nothing really could have been done at this point. No ones fault.
Some of it is also due to his dad being left alone around for around 20 hours before being found, and given the timeline it probably hit just a little after the call.

I know it's not his or anyone's fault, but I think those 2 factors have him feeling like it's on him.
Some people can still walk around and function with stage 4 cancer.He might feel like that but he couildnt possibly know anything from a phone call. He shouldnt blame himself. Reassurance as someone else said is what he needs right now. My dad had a massive heart attack and was dead 45 minutes after I left him. I felt this way for a long time after but there is still nothing that could have change that or the situation.
Virgo79 · 61-69, M
Aww, that's sweet your trying
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He blamed himself, not me.
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sighmeupforthat · 46-50, M
heh, it was going to happen no matter what.

 
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