I need advice
A few years back I dated a man for about two years. We had fun and were talking about a permanent arrangement when he went off his bipolar meds and decided to build a little shack on the back of his vintage pickup truck and see the world.
I had no interest in that and we parted.
In quick succession he burst into the headmaster's office at the private school where he was groundskeeper (and an excellent, active one!) and yelled obscenities about someone splashing paint on his beloved truck while the headmaster was in an interview with parents about their child attending the school. Needless to say he was abruptly jobless and homeless as his nice apartment was part of his benefits.
Then he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer and went through a very difficult couple of years.
He was active, happy and healthy and proud of his work. Now he is sharing a house with his ex-wife who is also fighting cancer. He's unemployed, away from his friends, and sad.
He's lost. I get that.
Yesterday he texted me with what was practically a marriage proposal. We'd already had the conversation about how I still cared about him but we would not be resuming our whatever-it-was.
He is lonely and sad and that hurts me, but I'm not signing on again.
The chance that he would actually show up here is slim - but not impossible.
How do I comfort him and show the affection I feel in a distant kind of way without getting entangled?
I had no interest in that and we parted.
In quick succession he burst into the headmaster's office at the private school where he was groundskeeper (and an excellent, active one!) and yelled obscenities about someone splashing paint on his beloved truck while the headmaster was in an interview with parents about their child attending the school. Needless to say he was abruptly jobless and homeless as his nice apartment was part of his benefits.
Then he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer and went through a very difficult couple of years.
He was active, happy and healthy and proud of his work. Now he is sharing a house with his ex-wife who is also fighting cancer. He's unemployed, away from his friends, and sad.
He's lost. I get that.
Yesterday he texted me with what was practically a marriage proposal. We'd already had the conversation about how I still cared about him but we would not be resuming our whatever-it-was.
He is lonely and sad and that hurts me, but I'm not signing on again.
The chance that he would actually show up here is slim - but not impossible.
How do I comfort him and show the affection I feel in a distant kind of way without getting entangled?
