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I’m confused can I please have some advice?

I feel so sad and confused. I met a guy who was so nice and sweet. He was so respectful and kind to me. He wasn’t perfect but he seemed to be a pretty great guy. We eventually got into a relationship. This last month has gotten me so confused by his sudden changed behaviour. He went away for work and it was his birthday. I said can we video call after you land and he said yes. I had a cupcake and candle and I was going to sing happy birthday to him. 1 hour has gone passed and I texted him what was going on and he said I’m having dinner with workmates can we chat later? Which upset me but I didn’t say anything to him. We were hardly talking while he was away and I even said to him do you even want to be with me? He said he does but work has just been so busy. A few days go past and we talked on the phone and told me he misses and can’t wait to go home to see me. I was going through a hard time too because my mum was having surgery a few days later to remove cancer and he knew I was sad and worried about my mum. Two days later after telling me he misses me I get a text at midnight telling me we shouldn’t see each anymore because work is going to be busy for the next few months and he will be away a lot. I then try to call him after him telling me that. He responds with I will call you tomorrow I’m going to sleep in which he didn’t call me the next day. I asked him could we talk about it when you get back and he said yes. I asked him do you still miss me and he said he always does. Sometimes he would say he doesn’t know. We were suppose to meet up but he changed his mind and didn’t keep his word. It was like he was just playing mind games with me. After he broke his word I stopped texting him. I was just keeping in contact because I thought we were going to meet up to talk about it like he said he would. What broke my heart too is he knew I had his birthday presents waiting for him which I got rid of now but he just didn’t care. I don’t understand how he could be so cruel to me. I always showed him respect and the thing is he was so kind and respectful to me in the beginning too. He was encouraging, supportive and he made me feel beautiful. How does someone just change like that? Especially when I literally did nothing to him. I give him his space, I’m not clingy, I genuinely cared about him and I’m just so hurt and confused by this.
My bff experienced the same irl.

Three months seeing each other almost daily, all perfectly fine. Then he just stopped texting, calling, dropping by and would not respond to her requests to know why.

It drove her nuts and she's not one to let something drop. Dogged, determined. She staked out his favorite coffee shop and confronted him there. His response was to drop his head on the table and moan, "Leave me alone."

A few days later she went to his place and literally followed him around the yard while he mowed the grass on his riding mower. He still wouldn't answer her.

About a month later, he died of a heart attack at that same restaurant table.

So she'll never know.

The truth is it doesn't matter. If he won't talk, he won't talk and that makes him careless and negligent of the feelings of the woman he says he cares about. Who wants a guy like that?
@summerlove I have to say, I'm afraid hurtfully, that under the veneer he IS cold and cruel.

You don't care about him, you care about the man you thought he was.

I know it hurts, but don't throw good time after bad.

Go find a man who IS who you thought this flibbertigibbet was.
summerlove · 31-35, F
@Mamapolo2016 yeah I am grieving over the man I thought he was. It’s crazy though because he was always so kind to me, was never rude to me, never talked about other women. He told me how beautiful he thought I was then the switch in his behaviour happened. A truly decent person though would not have treated me like that especially when I didn’t do anything to him. He showed me who he truly is.
@summerlove Yes, he did. As Maya Angelou famously said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
Pawan · 31-35, M
So what just keep silence, gain mental strength and move on. Don't ever be victim of others act
BeJeweled · F
It sounds like he met someone else unfortunately.
My best advice is stop thinking about him and move on. Hard I know, but being busy doing other things will help.
summerlove · 31-35, F
@BeJeweled He met someone else? That would mean he cheated then since we were in a relationship.
Did you sleep with him?
summerlove · 31-35, F
@Spoiledbrat No I didn’t
Maybe he met someone else or maybe his focus has changed. @summerlove
WhateverWorks · 36-40
How long did you guys dare?
SkeetSkeet · 100+, F
Men are scandalous creatures. It's always better to be the one with the dick in relationship
deadgerbil · 26-30
@SkeetSkeet on a scale of one to ten how scandalous am I
SW-User
@SkeetSkeet perfectly fucked up 🤔
SkeetSkeet · 100+, F
@deadgerbil you are a Saint ✝️

 
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