My mother jobnknbhjnbhj

My mother used to hit me when I was a young boy she would come in drunk and just pick fights with everyone not just me when I was big enough I would fight back but I would never hit her I would use reasonable force to restrain her but one day I just had had enough and I found my hand around her throat I don't know why I did it I felt so ashamed afterwards even when I think about it now I just hate myself

We have a much better relationship now and she's been alcohol free for years