Should I help my sibling/family or should I fight for myself first?

Melpomene · 2021-05-31T18:58:37-05:00

Seeking Advice - Should I help my sibling/family or should I fight for myself first? I got a disorganized family... (12 replies).

Poll - Total Votes: 5

help them

help yourself

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I got a disorganized family (I'm kind of the only parent here, not overreacting) and I don't want my sibling to suffer as much but I also need to take some time (a few weeks, even months) to finish something. I'm dwelling what should I do. Putting myself first seems like an obvious choice but at the same time it feels like betraying them and just so wrong, on the other hand, if I help them now, it could postpone something and make a domino effect of postponing other things which I don't want.

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ozgirl512 · 31-35, F

You need to balance their needs against your own... Are they important needs? Do they need your help out are they relying on you to do it for them? ... Many things to consider...

Melpomene · 26-30, F

@ozgirl512 Kind of, otherwise I wouldn't be so unsure.
Well they aren't relying on me (which is a big plus for my side) but that's because they don't see it as important, contrary to any normal human being.

ozgirl512 · 31-35, F

@Melpomene can you do both or are they mutually exclusive?

Melpomene · 26-30, F

@ozgirl512 Not completely mutually exclusive but I don't like doing half-assed job and both of these things take time and a lot of effort. I've been trying to balance it for months (even a lousy job done is better than none, right?) but one of those has to wait in order for the other one to get done.

ozgirl512 · 31-35, F

@Melpomene I think you've defined the issue nicely... One must wait on the other... So which one first, what gives you the biggest bang for time invested?

Melpomene · 26-30, F

@ozgirl512 That's a good question.

ozgirl512 · 31-35, F

@Melpomene it may help you sort your way through ...