Murder have you ever seriously considered it?

I genuinely consider myself a pacifist, I honestly don't think the death penalty justifiable for even the absolute very worst crimes yet pretty much of no circumstance of my current situation isn't really managing to find me good reasons against murdering my tormentor, this seems as though it's a very genuine option because if I could do it my life would improve immeasurably , obviously to anyone who knows me this is just a completely ludicrous thing because it's just not a me thing, apart from anything else I ain't got what it takes to take this prat down physically never mind mentally, nevertheless it's genuinely looking like if I could it would quite honestly be the best option as being locked up has every chance of being a better quality of life for me than my life is currently and I don't see any other way out from here. I maybe be barking mad but I suspect even in prison you may actually get a whole nights sleep more freakin frequently than around once every three months which is my current norm (I live in such poor quality housing on such a crazy estate that even with a white noise machine going and earplugs in I get woken on average 2-5 times a night every night, that is of course only if I'm very feckin lucky and manage to get back to sleep after the first time I'm awoken each night, and I can not find a way out except waiting this out for at least 4 years (universal credit makes moving not possible) possibly more and I know full well I really can't go on much longer, never mind 4 years. So if I ain't yet managed to bore youse to death have you ever wanted to kill someone and if so why?