Have you ever had butt pain?

Like rectal pain. It's not hemorrhoids or an anal fissure, or constipation pain. I know what those are like and this is not it. This is severe rectal pain. I can barely walk, or sit, or even move without crippling pain. I'm not sure if I need to call 911 (211 for the Europeans.) I can't take anything, because I took an aleve at 11:44 this morning. The aleve didn't help at all. My doctors office is closed, I called already.

What should I do?

Have you guys ever dealt with this?

What helped you?