I’m being mentally and emotionally abused and it’s starting to make me suicidal

I can’t get over my ex and he knows that so he keeps torturing me into doing whatever he wants and when I don’t comply, he blocks me and gives me panic attacks because I have bpd. Then when we’re back talking and he’s just being verbally abusive and always yelling and cursing at me. On top of that, I feel like he wants the girl he cheated on me with instead of me and he’s only talking to me because she’s not talking to him. I just feel like I can’t live without him especially because I’m all in this area alone. This is a cry for help

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ZedsLeppelin2 · 56-60, F

YOU are allowing yourself to continue to be mentally/emotionally abused by your ex due to you clearly having low self esteem issues :(

You're 18-21 yrs old living in the greatest country, having so many opportunities to achieve YOUR goals in YOUR life....so don't waste your young adult life on a guy who's clearly NOT INTO YOU.

Every decade/generation of teenagers/young adults have BEEN THERE at your young age of THINKING we were "in love" at 18-21 with a dickhead boyfriend/girlfriend....whereas as you get older and wiser, you too will look back and cringe thinking to yourself "OH MAN WHAT WAS I THINKING dating that loser" lol :) So hang in there....NO ONE is worth taking your own life :(

I was 33 yrs old when I started dating my future husband (we were casual friends for years via us having mutual friends while in our early 20's/early 30's) and we went on to get married while in our 30's, and have 3 great kids together.

I always tell my young adult kids, that IF you want to hear God laugh, tell Him YOUR plans.

:) :) :)