I’m being mentally and emotionally abused and it’s starting to make me suicidal

I can’t get over my ex and he knows that so he keeps torturing me into doing whatever he wants and when I don’t comply, he blocks me and gives me panic attacks because I have bpd. Then when we’re back talking and he’s just being verbally abusive and always yelling and cursing at me. On top of that, I feel like he wants the girl he cheated on me with instead of me and he’s only talking to me because she’s not talking to him. I just feel like I can’t live without him especially because I’m all in this area alone. This is a cry for help

Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

Then you have to delete and block his number and cut off all contact. Then he has no hold over you, but you have to be the one to do it.
Its better to be alone temporarily than with some abusive cunt whos already cheated on you.