You sound depressed. It might be time to see a psychiatrist and get some meds.
I've had a lot of bad luck with people, too, and have trouble making friends. It is just hard for some of us. Getting a dog or cat can help a bit by providing companionship and regular company. Dogs are umtimately loyal animals and don't suddenly dump their human friends.
I do understand how it can get to be too much on some days. Swimming regularly has helped me feel less depressed. Fresh air and exercise can put a brighter face on life.
Please feel free to message me, reminding me of this conversation here. If you get a chance to read my Featured story, you'll know I have not come from a happy optimistic background and that I know what it is to feel fear of people and socializing.
Message me any time and let me know how you're doing. I will answer.
