Learning to cope with loneliness?

Biologically we do. We need to connect. That isn’t the same as needing someone. @Melpomene

@Spoiledbrat You need to have someone to connect to.

We need to connect. We have to or we’ll suffer. @Melpomene

@Spoiledbrat I didn't say we don't have to connect.

I must have misunderstood you. Here’s a good article on human connection. It’s short credible and to the point. Further [b]I[/b] don’t post unsafe links. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-nourishment/201612/why-we-need-each-other @Melpomene

I don't think you understand what it means to be lonely. @Melpomene

@SnoopDawg I do, that's why I'm telling you.

@Melpomene that works for you

@Melpomene you're very young for such wisdom, it took me a lot of time and pain to learn that!

You can be self sufficient and still be lonely. @SW-User

@SnoopDawg Works for everyone but many don't want to make an effort because it's easier to complain than actually do stuff even if it fails. People come and go all the time and if you can't be independent (without relying your happiness on presence of other people) then you'll easily become miserable and will be abandoned. People don't leave so easily if they see you have other interests and stuff going on except them and even if they do, you're not completely left alone.

You can be at a party full of people but feel alone. That’s one needs connection. @Melpomene

@Spoiledbrat of course but it's how you deal with it and your feelings towards yourself

How people deal is to feel alone. @SW-User

Complain? Being betrayed by people does something to you beyond belief, giving your all just to be left with nothing does something to you, being told you have to love yourself when you never have the enegry or time to do so does something to you, I work so damn much I don't have time to even react to the shit people do to me don't act like your solution is for everyone because it's not @Melpomene

@SW-User Thank you. Unfortunately, there isn't the right "age" for some lessons. I learnt this by going through it, failing in life miserably because of it and getting back on my feet of glass. Yet some people don't have to go through it. It's the cards life gives us.
@Spoiledbrat Look, I'm not saying you can't be lonely (and please stop twisting my words). I'm just saying this way it's less painful and you're left with a belief in something and yourself. There are times you'll have to fight all alone in life, 99,9% of people go through them. If you have something to grab on it's easier than when you're left completely without anything. You'll fail, you'll get up, having something to give you hope means this whole process will be much easier and faster. You might even avoid depression.
Y'all are free to choose whatever path you want. I gave my opinion based on my own experience and pain I had to go through. @Tombstone asked for an advice on "learning how to cope with lonelieness" I responded in my own manner. That doesn't mean he or anyone else dealing with has to use it, it's just a suggestion but now I feel like I shouldn't have written anything because it looks like you people want to stay like that and complain about loneliness. Why even bother asking about it? I respect your opinions but I feel like you don't respect mine.

@SnoopDawg I know you're hurt but so am I right now. What did you expect we'll tell you? Take a pill and you'll feel better? No. It's a damn hard process. Life is hard, life is shit and so are people. They leave all the damn time and will rarely be there when you need them. That's why people have to adapt (a damn survival instinct awakens) to being lonely and learning to live with themselves. You think you're the only person that's going through this? No. We all have to go through it at some point. And being hurt doesn't mean you should be an asshole to people. Next time you ask for advice, be sure you're willing to accept what people will tell you. You could've just ignored my comment but no, you wanted to express your feelings and anger because you're hurt and left alone. Well, welcome to the real world.

I don't have to accept anything people talk all day, I'm frustrated, incredibly tired and sick of people like you that think I don't live in the real world, you don't get up @ 2:30 am every goddamn day and bust your ass just thinking when you get off work everything is going to go good NOOOOO I CANT EVEN COME HOME AND THERE'S SOMEONE DOWN MY FUCKING BACK ABOUT SHIT THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME, I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH SO MUCH AND I'm told to "just ignore it, it'll be alright" "be happy there will be better days" how many fucking times am I going to lose before I win again? Hmm I can't speak on how I feel because that's complaining to you, I don't like your suggestion because that's the same bullshit I've been doing and it fails, it does not work for me, you don't not understand how I feel because you don't have to walk my path,what works for you, WORKS FOR YOU @Melpomene

@SnoopDawg Why are you being so aggressive towards me?
I understand you're hurt but only you can make yourself stand up from this pile of shit you're in. No one else can or will take your hand and pull you up. Ok, there is a chance that happens but that'd mean someone is beside you or you'll meet someone to do that but right now you're lonely, hurt and depressed. Do you think a fairy will come up to you, wave her wand and make all your worries disappear? I've never told you to be happy or wait for better days. I told you to make your own better days. Because no one else will do it for you.
And yes I know what it feels like. Just because I'm not in the same place as you are right now doesn't mean that I never went through it or that I don't have any idea what it's like.
When I said you're complaining what I meant is: you asked for an advice and since you don't like it you're spitting on it telling me how "it works for me". Well yes, it is working for me and that's why I'm giving it to someone else, hoping it will work for them to and help them feel better and work on their life. My intention wasn't to fuel your frustrations and anger, I only wanted to help and now I regret doing so.
And no, you didn't try my advice. You tried some other bullshit that my advice reminded you of. Don't mix those up. Learn to read and listen. You'll feel more peaceful. Or not. But either way, you should learn to respect people and their opinions, even if you don't agree with them, that is, if you want yours to be respected too. That's called having decency.

No thank you, if I find my self taking your advice id end up back where I am 2 days from now.

I should of said that from the start.

Probably would of been less painful for the both of us.

Here's this thought I disagree with what you've presented to me.. it is the same shit repackaged with a nice big ol own it.

I can't help that's how I feel, just a few days ago I was working out and trying to do better now the motivation is gone, there is no hope, there is no trust, there is nothing that lies in the future but more pain and I'm supposed to be excited to live for that? I don't care to see what the end of the chapter has to offer, I don't believe things change for the better because I think it will be better if the day is ruined from the start why try to make something that it's not?
Why bother with putting any effort in if the end results is failure, even in the thought of winning you will lose more then what you gain always and forever and to repeat the same steps is the key to happiness I don't want to bother at all


@Melpomene

@SnoopDawg Thank you for acknowledging my thoughts and feelings. 🤗
The thing is, healthy people also experience that (lack of hope, motivation, trust...) but are more resilient than depressed ones because they know life has ups and downs. Yes, yesterday is a failure, today is a failure but tomorrow? Stone isn't broken with only one hit but every hit (attempt) counts. And being happy and positive is a skill that can be learnt. Why bother showering or eating if you're going to have to repeat it? (pls don't stop showering and eating, that wasn't my point)

I'm not interested in being happy @Melpomene

@SnoopDawg Okay. What are you interested in then?

Nothing excites me, same shit different day@Melpomene

@SnoopDawg So you want to be excited?