Why can’t I commit to myself?

Hello! I can’t get my head around this. I’m in therapy (past involves s.abuse, narcissistic mother, financial abusive father and so on). I used food as a coping mechanism and overate to push down the pain. Eating a takeaway would make me feel high and as you can imagine I became overweight.

I’ve been doing the healing work for 2.5 years and had weight loss on my goal list since forever. However, I just cannot commit to it. I’ve been doing some inner soul searching work and I still cannot connect why I am not committed to this. I can be committed to work, career, decisions and so on. I am suspicious it’s because I don’t think I’m worth committing to but I don’t truly understand why that is.

Can anyone shed some insight, please? I am so confused.