why is it so hard to love yourself?

Because that's the ego. I read a lot about buddhism and I have come to understand, by time and experiences, what they mean that happiness shouldn't depend on someone else or an object. Because when that person or object is gone, we fall into a depth of fear and loneliness. Happiness is inside of us, and shouldn't depend on anyone else. We can love people who come into our life, but we should put ourselves aside from neediness. We do not NEED anyone to be happy. We can be happy with someone else without the neediness which we can only achieve when we focus on our own activities that give us inner peace. because nothing is ever secure in life. Friends come and go, people will do, relationships can brake up, and all those things happen because 1. that's life and 2. relationships brake up because one of them needed to learn the lifelesson love or respect or whatever else that had to be learned to find someone who they can be a better person for. It is just all about you being a good person for you, you being your own best friend, doing things you enjoy doing, and accepting setbacks knowing there's always some sort of lesson in it, as life is one big learning school. I hope this answer helped.