How would you go about finding a senior home to live in?

I am at the point of considering moving into a senior community, or a board and care home for seniors. I have had a lot of trouble trying to find a place that has what I want and that I can afford.

Last year, I made the mistake of handing the job of finding a good senior home over to my niece. She handed my name over to an agency..
...and the hard sell sales calls flooded my phone from 8 in the morning to 8 at night. I couldn't even take a nap, and I was ill and needed my rest. It negatively impacted my health. They all wanted to sell me stuff (senior homes I did not want to live in, had already checked them out) I did not want and nothing I said could get them off the phone. I'd hang up on them and they'd call me right back. I was in tears. Eventually, after threatening this agency with my attorney, they took me off the list. I still shudder when I think of all those fast talking telemarketers endlessly phoning me, not listening to one word I said, and determined to take full advantage of my age and infirmities.

What I think I may need is some sort of private social worker...but the one I checked out wants $150 an hour!

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

monster007 · 46-50, F

all care homes r quite uselles they charge arm and legs but there is not much caring there.... its juts a job for them if u wont eat they just take the food away from u as they got other stuff to do and of course they want to go home..... what exactly u need a help with ? ...and where do u live which city? there r also day centres where they drive u there ....u spend whole or half a day there ..have yr meals there which r innexpensive... in care homes most of the loads of heartless people work there ...very few who really care which is quite sad...its a moneymaking businnes...changing nappies and serving food cost over a 1000 per week...which is more expensive than 6* hotel...huh

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@monster007 I learned a lot about care places when I had to find one for my mother about 20 years ago. Although you are basically right about many of them, some are quite a bit better than others. If I am not sure, I will simply stay where I am indefinitely.

Those day centers are crowded cement block rooms with a lot of seniors with Alzheimer's sitting in wheel chairs and a couple of checkerboards. I am ambulatory, have all my faculties and do not even take any regular medications. I don't belong there.

What I need help with is...I am lonely, have no kids, siblings or other close relatives, most of my friends are at least a thousand miles away. I need to be someplace where I am not alone, and where I can get some help in an emergency. It can be sad and scary to awake at night alone knowing no one will help you if you are sick. There are a lot of little things I can barely do now, and I risk getting hurt if I do them, things like lifting boxes, or hanging pictures, or getting up on ladders to change a lightbulb, or getting down on my hands and knees to scrub my floor.

You have posted a picture of my worst fears, of course. I will be careful and will not be making any hasty decisions.

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

Also, you might want to know that my mother liked the wonderful home I found for her and lived there happily for 10 years. For various reasons, that home will not work for me. But if I search, I may be able to find one that could.

monster007 · 46-50, F

@greenmountaingal I guess u should search for a day centre not care home... I think one way or another we all feel lonely no matter what age...