If you were bullied relentlessly throughout grade school and high school by a boy, and then you heard, decades later, that he had cancer and probably
didn't have much longer to live, what would you do? If you wanted to send him a card, what would you say?
To give a little more background, his family and mine are very close. My next older sister and his older sister have been best friends since early childhood, and my mom and his mom are also good friends. And my dad and his dad also enjoy each other's company. And interestingly, when our families got together, when we were growing up, he was nice to me. It was just when we were at school that he was mean to me. But at school he was very, very mean. He made my life miserable.
But I don't think there's any point in bringing up the past at this point, since there's nothing he can do to change it now. Also, the last time I saw him, he said to me, "I guess I was kind of hard on you, Teresa." Was that an apology? I don't know, but it seemed like he felt kind of bad about the way he had treated me. And then, a few years later, his sister told me that he had been asking about me. He wanted to know how I was. So it sounded like he cared, though he hadn't contacted me himself.
So now I think I want to send him a card, but I'm struggling with what to say. Like I said, I don't think I should bring up the past. It also wouldn't make any sense to send him a get well card, because he's not going to get well. He's dying. I guess I should just let him know that I'm thinking of him, but somehow that seems pathetic and inadequate.
I would love to see him one last time, while he's still alive, but I've been told that he only wants his immediate family around him now, because he isn't really up to having visitors. As hard as it is for me to accept that I'll never see him again and may never get to resolve any of the problems that I had with him, I know that at this point it's not about what I want, it's about what's best for him.
So, what to say? I'm kind of at a loss for words.
[b]UPDATE:[/b] He died last night, and sadly I never got the chance to go and see him. :( But at least he's at peace now. I guess all I can do now is pray for the repose of his soul, and ask him to pray for me.
To give a little more background, his family and mine are very close. My next older sister and his older sister have been best friends since early childhood, and my mom and his mom are also good friends. And my dad and his dad also enjoy each other's company. And interestingly, when our families got together, when we were growing up, he was nice to me. It was just when we were at school that he was mean to me. But at school he was very, very mean. He made my life miserable.
But I don't think there's any point in bringing up the past at this point, since there's nothing he can do to change it now. Also, the last time I saw him, he said to me, "I guess I was kind of hard on you, Teresa." Was that an apology? I don't know, but it seemed like he felt kind of bad about the way he had treated me. And then, a few years later, his sister told me that he had been asking about me. He wanted to know how I was. So it sounded like he cared, though he hadn't contacted me himself.
So now I think I want to send him a card, but I'm struggling with what to say. Like I said, I don't think I should bring up the past. It also wouldn't make any sense to send him a get well card, because he's not going to get well. He's dying. I guess I should just let him know that I'm thinking of him, but somehow that seems pathetic and inadequate.
I would love to see him one last time, while he's still alive, but I've been told that he only wants his immediate family around him now, because he isn't really up to having visitors. As hard as it is for me to accept that I'll never see him again and may never get to resolve any of the problems that I had with him, I know that at this point it's not about what I want, it's about what's best for him.
So, what to say? I'm kind of at a loss for words.
[b]UPDATE:[/b] He died last night, and sadly I never got the chance to go and see him. :( But at least he's at peace now. I guess all I can do now is pray for the repose of his soul, and ask him to pray for me.
51-55, F
