I Need Someone to Talk to

Mistaken... Even though I am young, I have made many, many mistakes. And done a lot of stuff I truly regret. I'm depressed, and have been for 3 years now. My self esteem has slowly diminished since I was 9 years old. I'm really looking for one person who I can tell everything. And they won't leave. I know I am a horrible person, and I need to change my ways. But I need encouragement. And i'm too scared to tell my current friends the monster I really am. :(

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DrCharbonneau

It looks as if you have quite a few people to talk to. Choose wisely.

21cookielover21 · 26-30, F

I'll do my best.

DrCharbonneau

As I mentioned, I'm 60, so I have no interest other than to offer advice like a grandfather. I've had my share of problems in life being a nerd. Fortunately, as I mentioned, I'm a big dude, trained by the army (my own father died of cancer when I was 15), so I was never afraid of bullies.
Let's get back to you. When you say you are depressed, do you mean clinically diagnosed or just feeling sad and down? Even at 60, I get depressed at times, but it is just because life has been a rough battle.
I should be clear. I'm a doctor of physics, not an MD and certainly not a shrink, but, for a number of reasons, I've had to become savvy to psychology. Partly because my own biological son shows symptoms of schizophrenia, stays in denial and, since he's 24 now, I'm helpless to do anything about it.
You say you've done things to hurt others and make you feel monstrous. If you feel comfortable telling all of us here, then I'd suggest you be specific about what you did that supposedly hurt others. If not, you are welcome to PM me.
Your profile tells me you are a nerd. Could be much worse. Just think. You might have turned out to be a basketball player :D ... Nerds rule!