I Need Advice

Okay, so, I have a best friend and a year or so ago, he came out to me and said he was bisexual. He told me really, honestly, not to tell anyone. I kept the promise, but I ride at a barn, and the girls there were teasing me about him liking me. So, I told them that he wasn't interested in me, especially because he felt attraction to guys as well. I thought it was okay, since it sort of got them off my back. Now, there's a horse show coming up in 3 days, and he and his family are coming to the show. As much as I can try, I don't think I can keep my friend and the other barn girls separated. I'm really afraid that they'll talk to him and tell him that I told them this stuff... when maybe I really shouldn't have. The guilt has been sort of eating me alive, and I'm getting mini-panic attacks over it. I don't have a legit excuse to say that he and his family can't come to the show, and they're coming to support me. I'm really worried that he'll get mad at me and stop being friends with me... I would understand it if he did, I just really don't want to lose him. What do you think I should do?

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Serenitree · F

And no offense was taken. My point, when I said she is young, was that, hopefully we become less insecure, less impulsive, less thoughtless as we mature. She isn't proud of what she did. I'm sure she would take it back if she could, but she can't. Now she's trying to find a way to fix it. It's true, betrayal can't be fixed, but if confessed, and apologized for, hopefully the damage will be mimimal. I doubt he will trust her with his secrets, again, but maybe he can forgive a friend's foolishness.

I have been betrayed in the past. Many times. If evrn one of them had just admitted that what they did WAS a betrayal and apologized, I could have forgiven, but in every last case, they tried to claim, it wasn't a betrayal but done for my sake. Like I was supposed to thank them.

She is accepting her blame. She knows, acknowledges, feels like a jerk. Now she has to face the music. Hoping she won't lose a friend isn't merely self interest. It is further acknowledgement that she did wrong.

If you read what she said,once more, you will see that she was being teased, feeling uncomfortable, maybe a little defensive. She blurted out the first thing that came to mind, to shut them up. Was it right? No! Of course not. Did she do it maliciously? I don't think so. It's not like she gathered them in a huddle and laughing behind her best friend's back, whispered his secret to betray his confidence.

She messed up. Please don't tell me, you have never in your life said or done something you regretted instantly, but just that split second too late to take it back.